Saturday, February 26, 2011

Mike and me

When I was going through old photos the other day, I came across this one. I love it . It's my step father and I in a dory in Oak Bay. The cottage is one we rented for a week or two every summer. It wasn't very far from our home, but it felt like it was worlds away.
The cottage was owned by an English family who had two boys. One was close to my age. His name was Edward and I loved him. He had a dog, a beautiful Collie, that looked like "Lassie". We played in the mudflats, dug for clams and rowed out in the dory.
I can remember one day taking the dory out on my own. I wanted to row over to Spoon Island. But before I got halfway there, the tide went out and left me high and dry. I had no shoes on and had to walk back to shore in my bare feet. If you have ever tried to walk on mudflats, you will know that; 1. they stink ;2. they sink and 3. the sharp clam shells hidden in the mud cut your feet. By the time I got back to the cottage my feet were bleeding and I knew I was in trouble for having left the dory out so far. The Bay of Fundy has the highest tides in the world.When the tide comes in you can't out run it... It is fast!
The other reason I love this photo is that it is one of the few of my step Dad and I . Mike was a dark eyed handsome man. He came into my life when I was only two. He didn't have any children of his own. He was gruff and didn't know how to relate to children. My sister and I came as part of the package when he fell in love with our mother. Our relationship was tentative. I don't think he know what to think of me, and I preferred having my mother to myself.
I realize now as an adult, how difficult it is being a step parent. It's kind of a thankless job. Few rewards . There's a kind of conflict built into the relationship from the start. You aren't the parent. You may not have bargained for the child. The child may be resentful of your presence in their life. I've met some remarkable step parents , but I have a feeling the love and respect they've earned was hard won.
Mike died when he was 58. We had just started to forge an adult relationship. I was newly married and he loved my husband. We didn't have children for him to get to know . My sister had a little girl he absolutely adored.
So this photo I treasure, because we look happy on that wonderful summer's day.

2 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

i love your stories.

5:06 PM  
Blogger bluebird of paradise said...

Thanks dear Shawn!

11:16 AM  

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