AutumnFarewell

Autumn Farewell

I just said good-bye to a dear friend. She is moving away for good. I told her I loved her and that she has to take good care of herself as we have much travelling to do together. Her husband is quite ill with Parkinsen's disease. She is worn out from being a caregiver. I'm afraid that when he dies, there won't be much left of her.


It seems to happen frequently with elderly couples who have been together a long time. When one goes , the other follows. But I don't want this for her. I'm being totally selfish. I want her and I to travel. To Singapore, to China and to Mexico. We will stay for long periods of time . We will meet interesting people, eat great meals, flirt a little with younger men and laugh a lot.

We just got back from a mini trip . We drove up to Cow Head to visit some old friends. When we first met , she and her husband had just moved to Cow Head. He was a doctor and a writer. Our families became good friends on many levels . My husband was also a writer . The men became fast friends . She had four boys and we had two girls. Our children became good friends. It was a gift of a friendship that has endured their move to Vancouver and back as summer residents.

She grew up in Singapore,I grew up in New Brunswick, We both fell in love with poets and we both fell in love with Newfoundland. Sometimes I think we are more like sisters. We are so comfortable in our friendship that we fight a bit. Some times I get exasperated with her. She does too much for her family, I know she also gets exasperated with me when I preach at her.

The other day we were wrangling about this mini trip. I offered to take her to Cow Head as she had mentioned that she would like to see her friends before leaving.I thought it would be fun to take a road trip together.

The night before we were to leave , I called to check on when we would meet. She seemed luke warm about our outing. I offered that if she had changed her mind it was okay. She asserted it was my idea to go and she didn't want to disappoint me. I said sharply it was not my idea , but hers. I could go any old time. She was the one moving far away.So we dropped the plan and I went back to watching my favourite TV show.

The next morning as I was getting ready for a walk around the pond with another dear friend and our dogs, she called and said "Are we going to Cow Head?". I said "No!, I thought we had decided not to go."
she said "But it is such a lovely day.It would be such a great drive". I told her I was going for a walk and I would call her as soon as I got home.

Which I did and we tried to make arrangements to go for a shorter excursion, maybe to Woody Point for lunch. She lives an hour drive down the bay and tried to arrange a ride to Corner Brook. I got impatient with the whole thing and told her I was going to pick her up. She protested and I hung up on her and drove down the Bay to get her. It was a gorgeous drive. When I got to her house she fussed about and I ordered her into the car and told her I was the boss and we were going to Cow Head.

Which we did. And we had such a wonderful time. We saw a herd of caribou on the side of the road. They let us take lots of photos of them. We climbed over the sand dunes at Western Brook and walked on the beach.We had fresh fired mackerel and bakeapple pie at our friend's house . We went for a long hike to Shallow Bay and walked back along the shore where we picked a bucket of beautiful coloured beach rocks. We found an old oar and dragged that back too. We went to see their new cabin in Bill's Woods. It was a fantastic day.

On the way home I realized the best friends I have are the ones who exasperate me. That must be the "bycatch" of loving someone, they get inside you and drive you crazy at times. And when you have to say good-bye it rips your heart out.