Grandmothering

As a Grandmother I am a flop! I've just sent my two grandchildren packing. It's 10:30pm. They were supposed to stay all night. I was kind. We had pizza. We had treats. We looked at Tony Hawk on YouTube. We watched two movies. They didn't want to stay. they insisted on calling their parents to come for them.
They stay at their paternal grandparent's all the time. Perhaps they are kinder , more fun. younger. There's two of them and one of me.
When my eldest daughter announced she was pregnant, she sent me a copy of a "How to be a Grandmother" I was a little offended. I really thought it came natural. My grandmother never read a book on how to be a grandmother. Now I'm thinking perhaps I should have read the book. I think I put it in a yards sale.
I never liked 'sleep-overs' when my kids were small I dreaded them. There were lots. It meant a night of no sleep and not showing your best side.I am a patient person , I think.However squealing girls at 2 am set the devil in me. I would turn into a witch , yelling and threatening: "if I hear one more peep.....".
When my eldest daughter came home the summer her baby was six months old, she decided to have a romantic night away with her husband. I was apprehensive, but volunteered to keep the 18 month old and the baby for the night. The deal was I would bring them to her first thing in the morning. The baby must have sensed she was not near. Possibly because she was breast feeding. He slept about 20 minutes at a time. I would pick him up and walk with him till he fell asleep again. Then like clockwork, he'd start crying again. He was inconsoleable and so was I.........
Morning couldn't come soon enough. I remember being out on the deck with him in my arms , pleading with God to let him sleep, so I could sleep.
I am traumatized by sleepovers. I dont' want any more. I don't want people sleeping over at my house and I don't want to sleep at theirs . I am just no fun. I don't think I ever was.