bluebird of paradise

Dale Evans aka Marilee

2011-03-07T08:20:00.003-05:00

When I was seven I got a Dale Evans' outfit and a Roy Rogers' doll. I still have part of the Dale Evans' costume, but all else is lost. On Saturdays, my sister, my cousins and I would go to the Queen Theatre in St Stephen to the Matinee. Most often the main feature would be a cowboy movie; Durango Kid, The Lone Ranger, Gene Autry and my favourite Roy Rogers! I loved Roy and his beautiful Palomino horse, Trigger. Dale Evans was the only cowgirl we ever saw on the big screen. How I wanted to be her. To be married to Roy Rogers and riding beside him on my pinto pony named Buttermilk.
Roy was handsome, kind and fearless. And he sang. Sometimes he sang with his cowpokes " The Sons of the Pioneers" and sometimes he'd sing a duet with Dale. At the end of every movie to the tune of "Happy Trails" Trigger would rear up on his hind legs, Roy would wave his cowboy hat and ride off into the sunset....

I found this quote while I was searching for the name of Dale Evans' horse. I like to think I emulate the cowgirl spirit...

" 'Cowgirl' is an attitude really. A pioneer spirit, a special American brand of courage. The cowgirl faces life head-on, lives by her own lights, and makes no excuses. Cowgirls take stands; they speak up. They defend things they hold dear." Dale Evans

Mike and me

2011-02-26T12:40:00.004-05:00

When I was going through old photos the other day, I came across this one. I love it . It's my step father and I in a dory in Oak Bay. The cottage is one we rented for a week or two every summer. It wasn't very far from our home, but it felt like it was worlds away.

The cottage was owned by an English family who had two boys. One was close to my age. His name was Edward and I loved him. He had a dog, a beautiful Collie, that looked like "Lassie". We played in the mudflats, dug for clams and rowed out in the dory.

I can remember one day taking the dory out on my own. I wanted to row over to Spoon Island. But before I got halfway there, the tide went out and left me high and dry. I had no shoes on and had to walk back to shore in my bare feet. If you have ever tried to walk on mudflats, you will know that; 1. they stink ;2. they sink and 3. the sharp clam shells hidden in the mud cut your feet. By the time I got back to the cottage my feet were bleeding and I knew I was in trouble for having left the dory out so far. The Bay of Fundy has the highest tides in the world.When the tide comes in you can't out run it... It is fast!

The other reason I love this photo is that it is one of the few of my step Dad and I . Mike was a dark eyed handsome man. He came into my life when I was only two. He didn't have any children of his own. He was gruff and didn't know how to relate to children. My sister and I came as part of the package when he fell in love with our mother. Our relationship was tentative. I don't think he know what to think of me, and I preferred having my mother to myself.

I realize now as an adult, how difficult it is being a step parent. It's kind of a thankless job. Few rewards . There's a kind of conflict built into the relationship from the start. You aren't the parent. You may not have bargained for the child. The child may be resentful of your presence in their life. I've met some remarkable step parents , but I have a feeling the love and respect they've earned was hard won.

Mike died when he was 58. We had just started to forge an adult relationship. I was newly married and he loved my husband. We didn't have children for him to get to know . My sister had a little girl he absolutely adored.

So this photo I treasure, because we look happy on that wonderful summer's day.

Karne Johanna Jorgensen Nielsen

2011-02-22T14:59:00.010-05:00

This is my Great Grandmother. Her name is Karne Johanna Jorgensen Nielsen. She was born in Herlev, Denmark on November 15,1854. She married my Great Grandfather Frederik Ferdinand Nielsen, who was born in Ballerup a suburb of Kobenhavn (Copenhagen) Denmark on April 13, 1847. They were married in Ballerup on April 8,1873 and on the very next day they set sail for Canada.

They were part of a group of Danes who had been enticed to Northern New Brunswick by the promise of 100 acres of farmland. They thought it was cleared and arrived only to find out they had to clear the land themselves.

My Great Grandparents had Nine children.Four of the nine died as infants due to scarlet fever and diptheria. One little girl was burned to death. One of the four who survived to adulthood was my Grandfather, Johannes Henry Nielsen born on Jan.4, 1885. Henry ( as he was called) helped his father farm the homestead for awhile then went to work in the pulp and paper mill newly opened in East Millinocket Maine. There he met my Grandmother Ruby Nancy Boynton, whose parents ran a boarding house where Henry stayed. He married my Grandmother July 22, 1908. My mother was born on January 1, 1909. If you do the numbers you can see there was a little hanky panky at Boynton's Room & Board. My Grandfather eventually returned to the farm with his wife and three daughters in tow.... My Grandmother was a bit of a "fancy lady" and did not connect too well with the no nonsense, hard working , straight laced Danes.

Frederik died Sept 1916. My Grandfather and Ruby Nancy took over the farm and raised their eight children.

My mother remembered her Grandmother Karne as a very kind and loving . Mom said she always had sweets in her pockets to give to children. As a child I often studied this photo carefully in hopes she might give me some of the treats hidden in her pockets. Mom also told me she had up and disappeared suddenly. Her husband didn't know where she was. She just showed up one day after having been gone for seven years . Word had it she had run away to New York City......

Karne died on Oct 14, 1936. A woman of mystery and adventure. I so wish I had known her.

House work

2011-02-22T09:51:00.002-05:00

I make no bones about it, I hate housework. I come from a long line of women who hated housework. My grandmother lived in a teeny little house with three rooms. A kitchen with a wood stove and a table with chairs, her bed room and my uncles bedroom. I don't recall a bathroom. I do recall the house was picked up and moved to the country. I suspect my grandmother was spoiled as a child. She didn't do much of anything, except paint her nails and smoke. I don't ever recall seeing her cook or sweep or do the dishes....

My mother was a terrible house keeper. She was quite open about her loathing of cleaning the house. My sister and I did most of the housework. Every Saturday we would each get to pick "upstairs or downstairs" for cleaning. Sweeping dusting and mopping. I can still smell the Pine-sol that reeked for days.

Mom preferred to be barefoot and in the garden. She liked mucking in the mud. I can see her coming in the door in her denim shorts and blue checkered sleeveless shirt and very dirty feet. She was a farm girl through and through. She loved animals, kids and nature.

I remember as a teen, being too embarrassed about the state of our house to want to invite friends in. I also was embarrassed about my Mom's appearance. She was too "down to earth" and didn't measure up to my friends mothers, who wore gingham dresses with cute aprons and always baked cookies. My Mom ran a pickle factory when she was not gardening. She also painted and cut out horses without drawing them first. She was a messy cook and aways had dirty dishes stacked up in the sink. When she mopped (rarely) she called it giving the floor "a lick and a promise".

It took me a lot of years, a husband who was adverse to housework and two children and too many pets to pick up after, before I became enlightened. I came to the realization that housework was never ending. I could clean the house from top to bottom and before I got to the bottom, the top need cleaning again. I gave up. I decided I liked being outdoors more than I liked being in. I liked gardening a whole lot more than scrubbing the bath tub. It was more fun to do something with the kids than to spend time scolding them about their lack of tidiness. It made for a more peaceful relationship with my husband, to stop keeping score of whose turn it was to do the dishes or take out the garbage . When I was working , it helped to have a cleaning woman come in weekly. When I didn't have a cleaning woman, it helped to lower my standards. After all if the children and my husband didn't object to living in squalor why should I?

This morning I decided I had to clean my house. It took me maybe a half hour. Vacuuming mopping dusting while the washing machine hummed. I feel pure. I feel righteous. Now I can invite someone in......

Sunday, Sunday...

2011-02-20T11:08:00.002-05:00

Sunday morning , the day yawning head. One time there would have been church and Sunday dinner. Now it's a leisurely breakfast, a little walk, play with the computer and listen to the radio. I love CBC on Sunday. First it's WAM a Newfoundland arts magazine with Angela Antle, an artist herself. She keeps us informed of all the events in the Arts community.I missed her piece on Ryan's Fancy, who have new CD being released tomorrow. They were a favourite Irish band we listened to in the '70s. They brought a revival of interest in Celtic/Newfoundland music which spawned the likes of "Great Big Sea" and "The Irish Descendants". Then it's Michael Enright on "The Sunday Edition" He always has interesting guests like todays Brian Deer, the journalist who investigated the fraudulant research of Dr Andrew Wakefield, who published research that linked the measle/mumps vaccine with the onset of autism. What was fascinating is how much time and resources go into investigative journalism. He and Michael concurred that that type of journalism is a dying art.....Then there is "The Vinyl Cafe" with Stuart McLean, " Tapestry" a program on spirituality "Writers & Company" with Eleanor Wachtel. Then back to Newfoundland programming in "Musicraft" with Francesca Swann... Oh and I forgot "Spark" with host Nora Young.

We are so lucky to have a national public broadcasting in both radio and television. I'm not sure our current Prime Minister is a big fan..... We need to be on guard and ask the politicians looking for our votes , where they stand on public broadcasting.

Snow Day

2011-02-15T08:37:00.008-05:00

It's another snow day! The second in Corner Brook this year. The grandchildren in Little Rock have had six or seven this year. Somehow I think the snow drifts in Arkansas can't match this one at my patio window.
The pigeons and yellow finch are dancing around the feeder, hoping there may be a second feeding.
I'm not sure I'll ever get used to winter. It feels like we are living in Anarctica. Summer and greenery seem like a long forgotten memory. They say we are shaped by our culture. In India the futher south you go the hotter the curry..... I wonder how this climate has shaped us. More cheese, more chocolate. Eating seems to be one way I cope with stormy weather. I want to cook black bottom muffins, but have no eggs. Do I dare venture out to buy some eggs? Even the garbage truck hasn't been by....
My cat Rocky is longing for spring.Every moning he waits at the door asking me to check to see if spring has arrived. How lucky he is to have a cozy home. I have been feeding some feral cats on the hill behind an abandoned hospital. There are many cats in the city who have no home. I wonder what their lives must be like.

My funny Valentine

2011-02-14T11:23:00.004-05:00

I love this photo. I'm borrowing it from my daughter. I was looking for a Valentine photo . This one is perfect! Look at that smile! Leaning on his Mommy's hand. Pure bliss.

I love Valentine's Day. I am a hopeless romantic. Luckily I married a romantic. He sent me flowers, wrote poems and reminded me I was beautiful.....

When I was a little girl, Valentine's Day was special. I laboured over the large book of Valentines, which had to be cut out and the envelopes assembled. Which Valentine to give to which friend. The most special would be for the boy you secretly loved. I had a secret love. I met him in Grade one. His name was Paul. He sat in front of me. The first time he spoke to me was to criticized my drawing. I had drawn a sun with sun rays beaming out in the upper left hand corner of my picture. He told me it looked like a spider and it frightened him. I immediately was smitten with him (probably because he spoke to me). I continued to love him all the way through school, from Grade one to Grade twelve. Partly because he was unattainable. He announced in Grade one that he was going to be a priest!

Return

2011-02-13T09:34:00.003-05:00

I love the light in this photo. It's one taken a long time ago, but recently found. There is a tenderness in the gestures, that remind me of the light the painting masters tried to recreate..

Light, I need some today. Outside my window is all white, a blustery snowy day.Not fit!

It's been awhile since I've posted on my blog. I love that some bloggers post daily, with lovely photos of their lives. I have a select group of blogging friends from different parts of the world. While I've never met some of them, I feel we are good friends and that if I'm ever in their "neck of the woods" I can stop in for tea...

I have been watching the happenings in Egypt with interest.What an amazing revolution.Little violence. Joy in the streets. What passion. I'd love one day to visit Tahrir Square .

My sad news was to lose my beloved dog just after Christmas. He had been sick over Christmas, and I was so upset as he was throwing up everyday. Finally I took him th the Vet. We thought it was his teeth. He went on antibiotics and didn't get well. So blood work was done, only to find the level of toxins in his blood were through the roof. He went on IV for two days, but then he started having seizures. The decision had to be made to let him go....I've done it before. It doesn't get easier, if anything it gets harder. My heart cracked in two. I miss him everyday. His shadow follows me everywhere. The house is empty.

Beautiful Friend

2010-01-11T15:44:00.002-05:00

GOH POH SENG

My beloved friend Poh Seng died yesterday. He was a wonderful poet, doctor, husband, father and friend. Our friendship goes back to 1988 when I returned home from Law School. My husband brought him to our house. He had gotten Al's name from a writer in Vancouver. Poh Seng had just moved to Cow Head from Vancouver and earlier from Singapore. His wife and family had not yet joined him. When they did, our families became friends. They had four sons and we had two daughters.
We often visited them in Cow Head. We would forage for food, and prepare the most fabulous meals of fresh mussels,lobster, trout and what ever else we found. Our times together were filled with art, great conversation and merriment.
They returned to Vancouver to live a year or so after we met them. We stayed in touch by phone and letters. When my eldest daughter married they returned for her wedding . They rekindled their love for Newfoundland. And within not too many years they had bought a summer home in a little village around the bay. For many years they returned to the Island in late spring and stay until mid October. They were much beloved by everyone in the small close knit communtiiy.
They hosted many parties and poetry readings throughout the summer. Poh Seng turned an old garage into a wonderful studio. Margaret collected rocks and painted wonderful pictures.
Then Poh Seng was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. He didn't let that slow him down. He still foraged for mushrooms and combed the beach everyday. He and Margaret never had a car, but managed to take wonderful trips to places like Burgeo and the Great Northern Peninsula.
They were an amazing couple. Margaret was his editor. She typed out his manuscripts and help him look for publishers. He was a prolific and very discliplined writer with enormous talent. He was a modest man, a gentle man and a true friend. I am going to miss you my dearest.

Cookie

2009-12-17T08:52:00.000-05:00

My old Cat is spending her last day on earth. I don't like having the power to determine that. She is almost 18 years old and is very frail. I've consulted my friends who have gone through this and done a lot of soul searching. This is the right thing to do. It doesn't make it any easier though.
Our relationship is longer than most marriages today. Cookie came to us in 1993.My daughter's boyfriend was staying with us that summer. He worked as a mascot for the city. He was Captain Cook. On his way to work one day, he heard mewing coming from a dumpster behind a building. He checked into it and found a frightened white kitten. He called me and asked if I would mind if her brought her home. He assured me that he would take it with him when he left at the end of summer. I agreed.
He wanted to call her "Justice". I said no way, as I didn't want to be singing out: "Justice where are you ?". I named her "Cookie" after his role as Captain Cook.
Well he left the cat (and my daughter) at the end of summer. Cookie has been a fixture in our home ever since. She is a rather unloveable cat. She reminds me of someone I know, very vocal about getting her needs met, especially at 5am. I have lost a ton of sleep because of Cookie. She is very lacking in personal hygiene. He bum is always got poop on it, and her eyes are goopy. She is only interested in eating and is devoid of personality.
I didn't think I loved her until yesterday, when I called the vet to make inquiries about having her put down. Then I spent the rest of the day crying.
This morning I tried to cuddle her and tell her I love her. She was dismissive and not interested in my overtures. It has always been on her terms. If it were summer, this decision would be hers , but it's winter, she's cold, and I'm afraid she may get out when people are coming and going during Christmas. My Buddhist practice says 'no killing'. However I don't believe in suffering needlessly. I like to think this is the compassionate choice.
I will miss you dear Cookie!

Jiggs Dinner

2009-09-07T09:42:00.001-04:00

DSC06322
Originally uploaded by Kyran P.

This is what I'm planning to cook today. It's Labour Day and I feel the need to do something special. Everyone I love (well, almost everyone) is out of town. It's an absolutely gorgeous day! This must be our seventh day of sunshine. A little cool ,but so brilliant!
Jiggs Dinner is most appropriate meal for "labour" day. It was originally a fisherman's dinner. The beef was preserved in brine. Not the lean corn beef kind I grew up with in New England/New Brunswick .This was the fattest cut of beef.When I first saw it over forty years ago, I was aghast! My mother-in-law laid this fatty skinny piece of overcooked blob of meat on the table, I nearly gagged. When I was little the mere sight of fat made me ill.
Over the years, like a lot of Newfoundland fare, I have grown fond of jiggs dinner.Here's how it goes. Buy a piece of salt beef at the local store (even Sobey's and Dominion now carry salt beef). Gather up all the veggies at the local farmer's marker (or home grown ). You will need new poatotoes, fresh carrots and turnip. Oh yes cabbage or if early in the summer, "turnip tops". When I made it this summer for my visiting daughter, she lamented; "where's the cabbage?"
The salt beef which can be big blobs or riblets (my personal favourite) needs to be soaked over night. The next morning put the piece of salt beef in a large pot with fresh water.
I almost forgot the best part. The peas pudding! You will need a pudding bag, which can be purchased locally or if you aren't local , just a 10-12 inch square of white cotton or muslin(not Muslim) will do. You will need some cotton twine to tie it up. Place the dry yellow peas, I forgot to tell you to buy in the pudding bag, along with a few small diced pieces of fat back pork and some freshly ground pepper. tie the bag tight and place it in the pot over the salt beef.
Bring to a rolling boil and let cook for the whole afternoon. Have the turnip, potaotes, carrots and cabbage cut in large chunks. Remove the peas pudding before you introduce the veggies, They will be placed in the pot in order about 10 minutes apart.Cover and cook for about one hour.The cabbage should be cut in wedges and placed on top of the other vegetables.
In the meantime , take the peas pudding out of the bag, Dump it in an oven proof bowl. Smooth the surface of he pudding with a fork. Put a big pat of fresh butter on the top and a sprinking of pepper. Keep in a warm oven until ready to serve.
When the vegetables are tender , take the salt beef out and place on a platter. Surround the beef with the vegetables.Don't forget the peas pudding in the oven . And above all else don't forget the mustard pickles!
Enjoy! I know I am going to enjoy mine as soon as I find someone to eat it with....

Writer's Festival

2009-08-16T18:27:00.002-04:00

I just had the most incredible week! Totally unexpected, a dear friend called to invite me to the Writer's Festival in Woody Point. She had extra tickets and a bed for me.

It was five straight days of wonderful readings, great music in the most gorgous setting on the face of the planet!

Woody Point is a little town in beautiful Bonne Bay. It is smack in the middle of a World Hertitage site. It is surrounded by green mountains which slope gently to the sea.The backdrop is the Tableland Mountains, which are flat topped and rusty looking. No vegetation at all. It looks like a moonscape or a scene out of an old western movie.

We heard some fantastic authors. My favourite was a little wisp of a girl by the name of Jessica Grant. She is a fresh new voice. Her debut novel is "Come Thou Tortoise" And I loved Paul Quarrington. He's from Hamilton and has quite a few books under his belt. He sat on the stage strumming on the guitar and told the funniest story about his wife finding "Jesus" in a public washroom. It was so funny and poignant.

David Adams Richard read from "The Lost Highway. It was very moving and so familar.David grew up on the Mirimichi in New Brunswick. I am related to his characters! Greg Malone recieved the warmest and most loving welcome from the audience. It was very emotional. Like Ron Hynes , Greg is revered in Newfoundland.

The music was tremendous.Anita Best did a beautiful rendition of "Atlantic Blue". I never thought anyone but Ron Hynes should sing that song. Anita did a very different arrangement. Hearing the song about the Ocean Ranger from a woman had it's own soulful magic.Sandy Morris. of "Land and Sea" fame , Duane Andrews who is a guitar virtuoso and who now plays a fiddle ,Des Walsh, Ameila Curran who writes as well as Leonard Cohen and sings like an angel and the wonderful Kathleen Edwards made for a most memorable time. My soul is quenched!

Next year I'll be there again. I've missed too many wonderful moments...and life is short.

Summertime

2009-08-11T14:21:00.004-04:00

They were here and now they're gone. Summer goes by too fast. It seems like a dream.

Waiting so long , then it whizzes by. But I have to say we enjoyed every second. It was a wonderful visit. Having my grandchildren in the same place was a marvel. They bonded immediately.Everyday was an adventure.

I loved seeing the recognition of place and people on the older boys faces. It must be like going to Ireland, Iceland or China and knowing these are "my people". I had that feeling when I visited Norway.The faces were so familiar. It was thought I had found my clan.

My little house is lonely. The animals are keeping me occuppied as they have all been sick. Perhaps it's a delayed reaction to stress.The Vet bills have been astronomical! Pet owners need to lobby for "medicare " for animals. It sometimes comes down to cost versus a beloved pet's life.

What will the rest of summer hold. I am missing a trip to the Bay of Fundy. This may be the first year I haven't gone home.

I'm sure there are a few more surprises left before Labour Day... there always is .

Good Friends

2009-06-09T08:23:00.001-04:00

I am blessed to have good friends. Yesterday these two came to plant my flowers. I broke my wrist and haven't been able to do much of anything.
We have been friends for over thirty years.We met when we were young wives and mothers.We raised our families together.
Today we are grandmothers . We love to share stories of our wonderful grandchildren.We are so proud of our daughters,who in turn are wonderful mothers. I like to think they learned it all from us. I only hope they are blessed with such wonderful friends.

Secrets

2009-05-18T13:36:00.001-04:00

This is my Christmas lad "Stiff-legs" He was a gift from Mo'a Romig-Boyles,a wonderful artist/blogger . It's Victoria Day and we are having a quiet day at home. He sits on my desk with a little Buddha I bought when I was on retreat with Thich Nhat Hann.
What is the secret you ask? Well if I told you it wouldn't be much of a secret now would it?
I'm a pretty good secret keeper. Having chosen careers where others trusted me with their most intimate secrets, it's an honour I don't take lightly.
Do you remember the book "The Secret Garden"? It remains one of my favourite books of all times. The lovely overgrown garden with a tragic story.
We're all a bit like that. We all have our own secrets don't we? I'm trying not to have secrets. I want my life to be fairly transparent. I don't believe that's entirely possible, but I think a lot of secrets are based in shame.
I grew up with a lot of shame. Mostly for things that were beyond my control. Grown-ups choices which affected me profoundly. Secrets about our family.
It' s so freeing to bring the dark secrets to light. Then they have no power over us. Sometimes it's a little complicated to explain, but I try to be honest. Perhaps the other person doesn't need more information. Just a simple explanation.
That's not to say mystery isn't good. I think a little mystery adds a little spice to life.

What secret are you keeping today?

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T10:41:00.000-04:00

Happy Mother's Day!

It's been awhile. I've been travelling. Doing the April Birthday circuit. My brother's 75th in Burlington/Hamilton ,Ontario . Then my birthday (I've given up telling my age) in Virginia Beach. And this very special grandson's 5th birthday in Little Rock Arkansas.He had a very"fancy" party.

We all had wonderful birthdays. This morning as a meditation I reviewed my birthday cards and extended love back to all those well wishers.

It's lobster season in Western Newfoundland. And we had a great lobster boil up on Friday evening. What a feast ! Partridgeberry Rub-Bub cake with Fussel's cream for dessert.
And my "nearby" grandson had his 8th birthday on Saturday. He had a dirt bike party.So it's been a wonderful season of celebration. New babies and more on the way.
Not to put a damper on things , but it is snowing here this morning. I can't believe it! Large big globs of slushy snow..... It makes me want to be back in Little Rock sitting on the porch listening to the father cardinal guard his nest .
Our annual Mother's Day outing is in York Harbour at the Candlelite Inn this afternoon. My daughter's mother in law and all the females of the clan treat ourselves to a nice meal out. The men are left to mind the children and fend for themselves, while we drink champagne and eat gourmet.Just the way it should be on Mother's Day. I hope you are having a good one!

Atlantic blue

2009-03-12T20:00:00.000-04:00

March 12,2009

I was driving home for lunch and turned the radio on. I knew right away there was something wrong, dreadfully wrong. It took a few minutes to get the jist of the story.
A helicopter carrying crew members to the White Rose Oil Platform was down. In the sea, 18 on board including the helicopter flight crew.

The tears came quickly. We had been here before. The Ocean Ranger sank in high seas on Valentine's Day twenty five years ago. All hands lost.

We live on an island in the Atlantic. At times the sea
looks like this photo. Tonight the wind is howling, it's
stormy and cold. My heart aches to think there could
be survivors afloat in the cold Atlantic and my heart
breaks to think there may be none.

2009-02-22T08:23:00.002-05:00

My grandaughter was visiting yesterday. We were discussing which movie we would watch. She wanted to watch 'Backyardigans' and I wanted 'Madagascar'. The conversation went like this:

M: "Well anyways, you can pick any movie you want."

Nanny:"Well I pick "Madagascar".

M:"No, you can only pick which movie you want from this one (Backyardigans)".

The other funny story was about her Great Grandmother Nanny Peggy , who has recently started using a computer.The other day when she was checking her email, a cookie popped up telling her she needed to clean her desktop. So Nanny Peggy started straightening up her computer desk.She moved some framed photos and dusted. When Poppy walked by he asked her what she was doing . She told him the computer told her to clean off her desk. Poppy said he thought the desk was a little messy.

pretty fingers

2009-02-02T21:24:00.000-05:00

My grandaughter and I had a sleep over. We did what all girls do at a slumber party. We painted out nails. She picked all different colours. I went for O.P.I."Royal Rajah Ruby. It's my all time favourite. We were careful not to paint her left thumb ,as that is the one she sucks.She told me she had switched thumbs as the right one has a big bump.Her soother is a hot pink satin piece of cloth that has a flat pig face on it. She has had it since birth. If it ever gets misplaced we have to turn the world upside down to find "Silky".
I suspect when she starts school, Silky will be in the bottom of the back pack , for a furtive little break during recess. We once dropped Silky on the road and had to retrace our route to find it. He/she had tire tracks all over it. A good wash restored it good as new.
My grandaughter has a vocabulary all her own. She calls cupcakes , "pupcakes".Her bicycle helmet is
her "helmo". Her mom runs a "dare kay" and she likes to buy treats for my "dare kay friends". She loves princesses and one of her favorite is Ariel , the little "ermaid". She told me the other day that Aurora was named Aurora because she "worries" alot, that's how come she's "Aworra".
When I was venting some frustration about the state of disrepair my house is in, she said ;"Nanny, when I am big , after Christmas, I'll get you a rainbow house. It feels like a rainbow house when she is iin it.

At Last

2009-01-22T14:52:00.002-05:00

Stiff Legs arrived this morning. I won him in a contest on a wonderful blog :moaromigboyles.typepad.com. She is a wonderful artist who created "The Thirteen Christmas Elves (or sometimes called the Christmas Lads) After Christmas, she had a draw to see who would win the one with the most comments. To my complete surprise, it was me!
He is right beside me. We are falling in love, at least I am. I'm hoping he will too. Perhaps he was in love with Mo'a and is missing her. I promise him a good home and protection from the naughty cats. They haven't noticed him yet.

It has been an auspicious week. The long awaited farewell to George W Bush and the ever so welcomed inaguration of Barack Hussien Obama . I loved that he used his full name. How amazing!~ The first black President wth a Muslim name! We do live in wonderous times. I loved that he stumbled with the oath, like a bridegroom stumbling over those momentous words.
I love the way he and his wife look at each other. They shut the rest of the world out. We need affirmation of old lovers. The beautiful daughters, so natural and graceful.

I wept buckets watching the video of Pete Seeger and Bruce Springsteen.That was a dream realized on the Lincoln Memorial, a sea of hope singing along. Woody Guthrie's song "This Land is Your Land". The poetry of it all.
The other miracle of the week was the plane landing in the Hudson River. The image of the passengers standing on the sunken wings. They looked like they were walking on water. What a beautiful image. It stands in stark contrast to the horror of the 9/11 images.That pilot! The perfect combination of courage, years of experience, confidence and I'm sure faith. The fact he was also a glider was pivitol in my view.
Isn't life grand? In the midst of the looming economic disaster, such images of hope. I am so grateful to be witness to these times.

The Girls of St Leonard's

2009-01-10T15:57:00.000-05:00

Today I attended a funeral of a dear friend of my late mother-in-law. She and Mary grew up in the same little outport in Placentia Bay. They remained friends all their lives, raising their families in Corner Brook. Pauline was a gracious woman, very beautiful and intelligent as was Mary. As I was chatting with Pauline's daughter-in-law at the reception today, I remarked how amazing it was that these women from a tiny outport had such airs of sophisication. Not only were they beautiful, but they were very progressive in their ideas and their fashion sense.
The daughter-in -law explained some of the mystery to me. She said that her mother grew up in Clattice Harbour, not far from St. Leonard's.They would travel by boat to St Kyran's to attend mass on Sundays. The girls were competative and always tried to outdress the girls from St Leonard's and St Kyran's. How they got their sense of fashion, she explained was through French magazines, their fathers would bring back from St.Pierre and Miquelon.The fishermen would frequently make runs to the French Islands off the South Coast of Newfoundland to deliver fish and more importantly to get a load of rum, after all this was during the"prohibition years".
The girls of Clattice Harbour would pour over the magazine's from Paris and copy the styles. She said they would often pick berries to dye the clothing to match the latest colour trend of that fashion season.

I can just picture Mary and Pauline. They would not be outdone by the Clattice Harbour girls! These were young women of creative natures and a natural beauty. I would love to have seen them in St Kyran's church on Sunday. As it was, I count myself lucky to have known them in their prime.
Welcome to heaven Pauline, Mary is waiting to welcome you in her best blue chapeau!

The little Snow Queen

2009-01-01T13:50:00.001-05:00

This is my grandaughter who is a snowboarder. Soon her American cousins will also be snowboarders. I know they will be just as cute.

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T13:36:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year and Happy 1ooth birthday to my dear Mother, who we hope is riding bareback across the fields of heaven. This is my granddaughter, who is still four and amazed that everyday she wakes up saying "I am still four years old".

I had a wonderfu New Years Eve with old friends and new. We had Boston Brown Bread and Boston Baked Beans. Most fitting as my sweet mother used to make them every Saturday when I was growing up.

I did one thing I promised over Christmas and that was to call each of my siblings to have a nice long chat. Only one brother I couldn't reach . And my sweet sister in law in Florida. She has to email me her phone number so I can chat with her. Isn't it great that we have emails,blogs,facebook, skype and twitter to stay in touch with the ones we love . And to get to know so many others around the world. I feel I have made such wonderful friends, I am truly blessed.
What a Christmas it has been. I have been so busy socializing. Everyday there is an invitation to a party , lunch or dinner. Or just a freind droping in for tea or coffee. Today I'm going out for supper. It will be a jolly time. I am so greatful for all the blessings of my life. And I feel such an abundance, that is a real gift. In a time of econonomic uncertainty I feel so blessed.

I wasn't going to make any New Year's Resolutions as I dont want to make the usual obligatory ones I never keep. So I was thinking of vague terms about being more open to joy and things like that. I did jot down a few things I would like to work on :

1. swear less. I woke up swearing this morning (at the cats or dogs) and I continued , by the time I got home from our walk I bet I had sworn about 30 times.(the leashes twisted around my ankles warranted half of the curses)
2.Experience more joy
3. fear less
4. become master of my appetites
5.meditate more
6.move more
7.have more contact with my grandchildren away
8.laugh more (I just added this one)
9.assume good will
10.cultivate a culture of trust
11.remember that sometimes you have to teach a thing (person,child or animal) it's loveliness.
12.count my blessings

Have a wonderful new year and take time to really appreciate the good things in your life and ask for strength to see you through the difficult times. And lastly be kind!~

The Blue Café: Fresh bread and Christmas herring

2009-01-01T12:35:00.001-05:00

The Blue Café: Fresh bread and Christmas herring

This is one of my favourite blogs... enjoy !~

2008-12-24T13:12:00.000-05:00

It's almost here! I love this quiet time just before the Christmas flurry begins. I've been getting ready for an "open house". I hope people come. I've bought enough food to feed an army (and would love to).I've been checking my favourite blogs and sending them email greetings. I have a few faithful readers and wish them a wonderful joyful season.
and much happiness in the New Year.
that's it for me i'm out of here.......

Christmas is coming

2008-12-19T10:49:00.000-05:00

Well it's almost here! I'm ready. for the first time ever I have an artificial tree. I only paid $25. for it, just in case I hated it and dumped it for a real one. But it's okay. I don't need a big tree any more.
I't s been fun decorating . I'm trying to keep it simple. I've had to rearrange the living room, which gives everything a new feel.
It's blustery outside, nice and cozy inside. However Lucky is planning a walk for us. I'm not nearly as keen. Yesterday we walked around the pond. It was softly snowing. I sang Dermot O'Reilly's song "Snowman". It felt like we were in a snow globe.

Crouching Tiger

2008-11-26T10:29:00.000-05:00

This is my grandaughter's first photo of me, well not exactly, she took two others with my head cut off, finally I decided in order to get my head in the photo , I'd have to crouch. Hence, "crouching tiger".

It is a beautiful brilliant day here. My friend and I walked the dogs around the pond ,as we do most mornings, I brought bread for the flock of ducks who have taken up residency at the pond. The swans don't seem to mind.I'm not sure how they are going to survive the winter.

I want to go somewhere Christmas shopping. In Newfoundland, there isn't a lot of choice. I could drive to Stephenville, an hour away, but the stores are the same as we have here. St John's is too far away. It takes a full day to drive there. If I were living in New Brunswick , I could drive to St Andrew's, Calais, Bangor , St John or Fredericton all within an hour from St Stephen. Living on an island isn't all romance.

Lately I've been thinking that if we go into a big recession (or God fobid, a depression) we aren't going to be in a good position. We rely on the ferry to bring in most goods. Newfoundland doesn't have a large agriculture segment. We do have fish, but that is heavily regulated and hard to do in the winter.

I've been daydreaming about building a log cabin in Mackerel Point and designing it so that it is powered by solar and wind power. A friend of mine has done that with their cabin on the Northern Peninsula. It' s a lovely A frame house that is powered by solar panels and a small windmill. They have a wood stove for heat and a well. He hunts and fishes and picks berries. If worse came to worse they could live off the land. Unlike us city slickers, who would have to rely on food banks.

Any way I can't think about that it's just too scarey. Anyone my age has parents who lived through the Great Depression and still carry the scars. They manifest as "scarcity". A fear that there is never enough money, food, love etc. etc. It's hard to shake that fear. Hearing the news of a worsening economy, night after night, makes me fearful. In a way it's not a bad thing, We in the west have a sense of entitlement, that others would never dream of. We have squandered our wealth. We are so disrespectful of the environment. We turn our faces to other's needs, be it at home or abroad.

Getting back to a sustainable life style would be a good thing. Living simply and mindfully. Helping our neighbours, because we may need their help in turn. Returning to an economy that isn't entirely built on money.Trading, I'll trade you my fish for your eggs. Reclaiming control of our economic system. Disempowering the greedy banks who created this mess (and the government who abetted ). Living simply could mean reclaiming a sense of "communtiy". That municipal administration have more say over how our taxes are spent. Revamping the whole notion of Taxes. One should only have to pay tax once and have more say over where that money is spent.

And on and on. We need to change the world. There are are so many bright people who are able and willing to do so. No matter what happens, that will not change.We will always have people with ideas and ideals. At least I hope so.

Break fast

2008-11-19T10:13:00.000-05:00

Isn't this a perfect breakfast? A double latte with skim milk, a Montreal bagel and the morning edition! I am a happy camper today. It's snowing , it's miserable outside, but in here in my cozy little outport house its lovely and warm.
I have taken control over my eating.:-)
I have decided that from 6am to 6pm I can eat(the opposite of Ramadam), not all that I want, but moderately. But I must finish by sundown.

I have been walking almost everyday and yesterday I ventured to skate. I felt ridiculous hanging on to the side boards ,but I manage not to fall and even do 6 turns around the ice surface. I only once nearly fell and that was because of Elvis. Someone switched the music from Newfoundland new folk/country /Irish to Elvis.That was almost my undoing.My body wanted to jive. I hurled backwards, then managed to catch myself, just in time. I also felt a little brave seeing I hadn't skated for probably 50 years, and I am very overweight.
As children we skated up at "the bog" under the moonlight. The boys played hockey, while the girls figure skated like Barbara Ann Scott. We did figure 8's, twirlled and zig zagged backwards. It was all so magical. There is nothing like skating outdoors on a pond.
I already feel thinner. I have learned this about my body, one day can make a difference. I believe by overeating one day you can give yourself a heart attack and conversely by behaving and eating healthy , you can reverse your fortune. My theory is backed up by Dr.Ornish.If you don't believe me google "TED.com" and search for a talk by Dr.Ornish , who will verify my thesis.
Rosey. my cat is sitting here in front of the computer, she is bored today, not being outdoors. she is one of the two kittens, I found a year ago, abandoned in a field. She and her brother Rocky are pretty happy living with me.They've matured a lot ,however are capable of mischief when indoors too long. Lucky my dog is not happy, he hasn't had a walk today. I might have to brave the elements to take him out. Not something I want to do, but must . It's our compact. He agreed to live indoors with me,but only if I promised to walk him everyday.......

Remembrance Day

2008-11-13T15:06:00.000-05:00

I love Remembrance Day. It was always a big day in our house. My father was a veteran of the Second Great War as were his three brothers.Their father was a First World War Veteran. It was and is a day not to glorify war, but to honour those who went to war in our defence.
This photo is of my son in law's grandfather , who served in World War II. The children are his great grandchildren. He is a splendid man. He was one of the younger soldiers who enlisted. Everyone loves him. His wife, his children , his grandchildren and great grandchildren. And so do I. I am fortunate enough to be considered "one of the family". He calls me "Taliban" as he feels my left wing leanings are "terrorist" in nature. I call him "handsome " and flirt outrageously with him.His wonderful wife treats it all with good humour. She adores him as he does her.
He was wounded in the war and suffers daily with the pain of shards of shrapnel still in his body. In spite of that he is almost always in good spirits. He loves a party and sings bawdy songs. His family adores him and never forgets to honour his service for his country (which during that time was The Dominion of Newfoundland). Every year his entire family attends the Remembrance Day Service to watch him march again with what's left of his comrades, and every year in our hearts we think what we dare not say............

Yes We Can!

2008-11-05T09:56:00.000-05:00

We did it! Our day has arrived.We are at the mountain top......
I speak as an aging civil rights supporter and aging hippy and a social democrat . I sang "We shall overcome" to my daughter in Little Rock Arkansas home of Rosa Parks.
My favourite quote of the night was: "Rosa sat so King could walk, King walked so Obama could run, Obama ran so we could fly".

My favourite scene was when Obama and Biden took Biden's mother and Michelle's mother' s hand and walked them to the front of the stage. Behind them was a cadre of little girls, black and white looking so happy and proud.

Honouring our past and the future.

Honouring women!

It was such an emotional night. Thanks to CBC who did such a great job. I only have 2 TV channels neither of which is American, so I was so grateful to have such great coverage.I only felt a twinge of envy that our recent election didn't generate as much (or any) excitement.

America I am happy for you!

My nine year old grandson was up till the end. He knew he was witnessing history. He will always remember this date, just as I remember when JFK was elected.

Having lived in the 50's and 60's , looking over the sea of faces at Grant Field last night was amazing. Nothing but pure joy on the faces of Obama supporters.

Today my friend and I walked around the pond sharing our excitement and hope for a better world , even in these difficult times. It is mild here today, it feels like spring......

Obama = Hope

2008-11-04T09:37:00.003-05:00

Election Day U.S.A., November 4, 2008

The day we have been long been waiting for is here. I'm so excited and a wee bit fearful. So much hangs in the balance. No less than my wonderful American grandsons' future is at stake. What a wonderful legacy for them to be able to tell their grandchildren about the day the first African American was elected President !

I have been fantasizing about the inauguration day , what celebration. it will be, like nothing we have ever seen. At last all the heros of the civil rights movement will be appeased. The hard won battles have paid off. And what a leader Barak Obama will be. I believe he will be a formidable president like Abraham Lincoln.

When I think back over the past eight years, the only postive thing I can say is we survived ,barely. If there were any real justice in the war, Bush, Cheny, Rice, Rumsfield and Wolferwitz would be tried as war criminals.I sincerely hope history will not be kind to them.

In order to calm my fears I tell myself it is out of my hands. It is in the hands of the voters.

Please God guide them towards the light....

2008-10-28T18:09:00.002-04:00

The Rainbow House

My three year old grandaughter says to me today: "Nanny, when I get bigger...after Christmas. I'll get you a rainbow house."

She is a born caregiver.No one had to teach her. It's just who she is. No matter what you say to her, if it has an edge of concern, she offers a fix.

Today we spent the day together. We gathered up all my nail polish and painted our nails, each one a different colour. We had "orange tea" out of the little china tea set as we chatted about life. We watched a movie starring Jasmine one of the Disney's princesses. She insisted on a bath. For some reason she loves to have a bath at Nanny's house. I added mineral salts and lots of bubbles. She gathered armloads of bubbles and told me they were flowers.

Then we drove to the park, but not before she watered the almost dead flowers outside. At the playground she chatted with new friends and gathered gravel in Tim Horton cups and played store . All was lovely, until...... it was time to go home. She threw a hissy fit and laid flat out on the floor of the car refusing to get in the car seat. no amount of cajouling or coaxing would move her. She shed a few crocodile tears and was working her way into a frenzy. I asked what she wanted. "I want my Mommy!" she wailed. I calmy explained we couldn't start the car till she was in her car seat.That made no difference , she continued to lie across the floor and wail. I said in a non threatening way , that unless she got in her car seat,we would have to stay where we were. it could be all night.That Mom would be worried, that Lucky (my dog ) was getting anxious .

Then I reminded her there were lots of Halloween treats at her house. With that she climbed into her seat and off we went. I could see in the rear view mirror, her little head bobbing as she whimpered all the way home to the rainbow house.

AutumnFarewell

2008-10-22T10:21:00.000-04:00

Autumn Farewell

I just said good-bye to a dear friend. She is moving away for good. I told her I loved her and that she has to take good care of herself as we have much travelling to do together. Her husband is quite ill with Parkinsen's disease. She is worn out from being a caregiver. I'm afraid that when he dies, there won't be much left of her.

It seems to happen frequently with elderly couples who have been together a long time. When one goes , the other follows. But I don't want this for her. I'm being totally selfish. I want her and I to travel. To Singapore, to China and to Mexico. We will stay for long periods of time . We will meet interesting people, eat great meals, flirt a little with younger men and laugh a lot.

We just got back from a mini trip . We drove up to Cow Head to visit some old friends. When we first met , she and her husband had just moved to Cow Head. He was a doctor and a writer. Our families became good friends on many levels . My husband was also a writer . The men became fast friends . She had four boys and we had two girls. Our children became good friends. It was a gift of a friendship that has endured their move to Vancouver and back as summer residents.

She grew up in Singapore,I grew up in New Brunswick, We both fell in love with poets and we both fell in love with Newfoundland. Sometimes I think we are more like sisters. We are so comfortable in our friendship that we fight a bit. Some times I get exasperated with her. She does too much for her family, I know she also gets exasperated with me when I preach at her.

The other day we were wrangling about this mini trip. I offered to take her to Cow Head as she had mentioned that she would like to see her friends before leaving.I thought it would be fun to take a road trip together.

The night before we were to leave , I called to check on when we would meet. She seemed luke warm about our outing. I offered that if she had changed her mind it was okay. She asserted it was my idea to go and she didn't want to disappoint me. I said sharply it was not my idea , but hers. I could go any old time. She was the one moving far away.So we dropped the plan and I went back to watching my favourite TV show.

The next morning as I was getting ready for a walk around the pond with another dear friend and our dogs, she called and said "Are we going to Cow Head?". I said "No!, I thought we had decided not to go."
she said "But it is such a lovely day.It would be such a great drive". I told her I was going for a walk and I would call her as soon as I got home.

Which I did and we tried to make arrangements to go for a shorter excursion, maybe to Woody Point for lunch. She lives an hour drive down the bay and tried to arrange a ride to Corner Brook. I got impatient with the whole thing and told her I was going to pick her up. She protested and I hung up on her and drove down the Bay to get her. It was a gorgeous drive. When I got to her house she fussed about and I ordered her into the car and told her I was the boss and we were going to Cow Head.

Which we did. And we had such a wonderful time. We saw a herd of caribou on the side of the road. They let us take lots of photos of them. We climbed over the sand dunes at Western Brook and walked on the beach.We had fresh fired mackerel and bakeapple pie at our friend's house . We went for a long hike to Shallow Bay and walked back along the shore where we picked a bucket of beautiful coloured beach rocks. We found an old oar and dragged that back too. We went to see their new cabin in Bill's Woods. It was a fantastic day.

On the way home I realized the best friends I have are the ones who exasperate me. That must be the "bycatch" of loving someone, they get inside you and drive you crazy at times. And when you have to say good-bye it rips your heart out.

Sunday Morning , Falling Down!

2008-07-27T12:46:00.003-04:00

I don't have a photo , but there should be one. This morning I went to an ecumenical out door service with some friends. We set up our chairs under a shady maple. Before the service began I spotted a gentleman handing out programs. I ran over to him and asked for a couple. On my way back to my seat, I tripped over a root and wen sprawling ,face first on the ground. There must have been a hundred people on the lawn, who witnessed my demise. To say it was embarrassing is an understatement! I was wearing a dress. I'm sure when I fell my lime green panties with pink ladybugs was exposed for all to see. A kind (cute) man came to my rescue. He helped me up and dusted me off and escorted me to my place. All I could do was to slink down and be very still in hopes everyone would forget the spectacle.
I don't like growing old. It's a lot like growing little again. Falling down on your face! Forgetting that it's Sunday and getting ready for a doctor's appointment,that isn't till tomorrow.
My wrist is throbbing. I hope it isn't breaking, The shame was greater than the pain. But now that I'm home it's hurting.
I haven't written for ages, The three readers(my two daughters and my sister in law ) have probably given up on me. I've been having too much fun this summer. It's been hot and sunny for over three weeks! We are getting acclimatized to this weather. I hate to think of it changing,
More and more I think I should move to Florida. I feel so happy when the sun is shining.

Fresh Trout

2008-06-22T10:14:00.001-04:00

This is my first meal of trout in years.One time we couldn't eat all the trout we caught, but these days they are getting scarcer than hen's teeth.
My son-in-law caught them. He's going salmon fishing this week , so I am hopeful.
Last night I had friends over for lobsters, what a treat! We drank copious amounts of wine and enjoyed a beautiful sunset.

helping others

2008-06-14T12:14:00.001-04:00

2008-05-11T10:07:00.000-04:00

SK8R Dudes

2008-05-10T21:17:00.001-04:00

Waiting for the birds

2008-05-10T20:16:00.002-04:00

This is Rocky.He's my little foundling cat. He managed to climb up to the bird feeder and he won't get down. He's waiting for the birds. He is such a funny cat. A mop of fur. He flops over like a dust mop when I pick him up. Unlike his sister Rosey, he doesn't scratch,no matter how rough you play with him. He also has double paws, both front and back. He is very much like a Maine Coon Cat. Where I grew up on the Maine/New Brunswick border,there were plenty "Coon Cats" . It was believed they were the product of an unholy alliance between a racoon and a house cat. Who knows ! Stranger things have happened.

So much has happened since I last wrote, that I don't know where to begin. So I'll begin at the end. I have taken to reading the last page of an article first, that way I know if it's worth my while.

Today was my Grandson's birthday. He is seven. I told him on the way to school, that seven was the "age of reason" . He wanted to know what that meant. I told him it meant he could think big thoughts and reason things out himself. He thought about that....

Today he had a skate board party. All his "male " friends gathered at the skate board park and had a wonderful time pretending they were "Tony Hawk" the greatest skateborder ever ( who promotes wearing helmets). Some big boys were there and looked a little put out because the wee ones had taken over the park. They were patient and put on a little show for the boys. Lots of "Awesome!" "Cool" and "Dude".

The loveliest experience in my life recently was my trip to New York City for my birthday. It was incredible. I took the commuter train from Stamford Connecticut and arrived at Grand Central Station. I had ever only once been in New York City and that was in 1968 when I was 25. Do the math.......

That trip was a weekend trip as well . We arrived the day Martin Luther King was assasinated. On the Sunday there was a "love in " in Central Park. It was a very special weekend.I had so many wonderful memories of NYC . Well this trip was everything and more. My daughter joined me on Saturday and we covered the whole of lower Manhatten in the space of and afternoon. We visited "The White Horse Tavern" where Dylan Thomas liked to drink as well as Jack Kerouac and Anias Nin (forgive the spelling). We toasted my daughter's father, who like her was a writer and who would be so proud of the woman she has become.

We went to Washington Square , which in the sixties was full of hippies in all sorts of regalia. I remember my husband getting into an argument with a flower seller. I don't remember why. He did buy me a flower though.

We had lunch at a lovely cafe, where we had our only celebrity sighting. It was the couple from the movie "Once". I had seen them earlier in the week on "America AM". We had a birthday cupcake at "Billy's". Cupcakes are the rage in NYC. There were long lineups at the "Magnolia Bakery". It's reputed to be the best.

We went to Ground Zero. That was sad. All we could see was the big hole in the ground. It's hard to believe two huge office towers ever stood there. We walked along the Esplanade to Battery Point and caught the Staten Island Ferry. It was getting on for dusk and was cooling off. On the way over my daughter showed me a photo, her aunt had sent her of her Dad and I on the Staten Island Ferry, 40 years earlier. It was a special moment.

My daughter treated me to a wonderful birthday supper at the "Savoy" in Greenwich Village. It was a perfect ending to a perfect day. All that I dreamed of and more.

I love New York! The people are so friendly and helpful. It is so easy to find your way. The Yellow Cabs are fantastic and cheap. There are so many things to do. It would take a lifetime and more to see all there is to see. Museums, Art Galleries, Broadway Shows, Parks, Restaurants,Shops et al.

I can't wait to go back. I'm sure it will never be as magical as it was this time , but who knows? It was in 1968.

Grandmothering

2008-03-29T21:04:00.002-04:00

As a Grandmother I am a flop! I've just sent my two grandchildren packing. It's 10:30pm. They were supposed to stay all night. I was kind. We had pizza. We had treats. We looked at Tony Hawk on YouTube. We watched two movies. They didn't want to stay. they insisted on calling their parents to come for them.
They stay at their paternal grandparent's all the time. Perhaps they are kinder , more fun. younger. There's two of them and one of me.
When my eldest daughter announced she was pregnant, she sent me a copy of a "How to be a Grandmother" I was a little offended. I really thought it came natural. My grandmother never read a book on how to be a grandmother. Now I'm thinking perhaps I should have read the book. I think I put it in a yards sale.
I never liked 'sleep-overs' when my kids were small I dreaded them. There were lots. It meant a night of no sleep and not showing your best side.I am a patient person , I think.However squealing girls at 2 am set the devil in me. I would turn into a witch , yelling and threatening: "if I hear one more peep.....".
When my eldest daughter came home the summer her baby was six months old, she decided to have a romantic night away with her husband. I was apprehensive, but volunteered to keep the 18 month old and the baby for the night. The deal was I would bring them to her first thing in the morning. The baby must have sensed she was not near. Possibly because she was breast feeding. He slept about 20 minutes at a time. I would pick him up and walk with him till he fell asleep again. Then like clockwork, he'd start crying again. He was inconsoleable and so was I.........
Morning couldn't come soon enough. I remember being out on the deck with him in my arms , pleading with God to let him sleep, so I could sleep.
I am traumatized by sleepovers. I dont' want any more. I don't want people sleeping over at my house and I don't want to sleep at theirs . I am just no fun. I don't think I ever was.

Easter Egg Hunt in Dark Cove

2008-03-23T10:37:00.001-04:00

Happy Easter!
These Photos are from yesterday. We went to Dark Cove and had an Easter egg hunt. You can see how spring like it is in the Bay of Islands. Not a peck of green to be seen.
We did have a good time. My grandson copied (hopped from ice pan to ice pan), we had lots of chocolate and a nice walk on the beach.
It's not any more like spring today. I went over to my daughter's for breakfast . We had a artichoke fritata and ham and lots of chocolate of course!
The news is : I've re-retired! Finished my job on Thursday. It feels even better than the last time. This time it was really my choice. I've enjoyed the ten months I've been working, but my spirit was shrinking while my waist was growing. I've gained 3 pounds a month since I started working.
I really want to focus on my health. I joined weight watchers again ( for the 100th time!) but at least when I'm going , I tend to be more accountableand eat more consciously.I intend to try to be more physical and walk , run , ski or swim every day. My goal is to include at least one hour of physical activity everyday.
I am so looking forward to gardening. I missed out on it last year. My garden went wild last summer. It needs to be thinned out. I have the Lee Valley and Vesy's seed catalog in my bathroom. Can't wait to start. Not with seedlings though. They tend to get out of control and I get frustrated because my garden isn't big enough .
I've had sad news too. my niece died last week. I only found out about it 3 days after she died. She had been ill for some time and was living in a seniors home. When she was little we were very close. I loved her very much. She had a difficult life. And yet she was one of the most open and pleasant people I ever knew. She never held a grudge. She was always loving and generous of spirit. I hope wherever she is, she is among those who love her and she is happy at last.
The good news is that I am spending my birthday in New York City with my daughter. She informed me yesterday that she would be there the same weekend. My sister in law and I were meeting there to celebrate our auspicious birthdays. I am so excited. The last and only time I was in NYC was in 1968! My husband ,his brother and wife and I drove down from Montreal for the weekend. It so happened the day we arrived Martin Luther King was assassinated. We were visiting a friend who lived in the only "all white " apartment building in the neighbourhood in the Bronx. They were anticipating race riots all over the states. We had a wonderful weekend. People were so friendly. We went to Greenwich Village went to a "love in " in Central Park, ate the most delicous pizza ever from a street vendor. I love new York. It will be such a great trip to be there with my sister in law and our daughter.
My other daughter and her husband are going to Mexico. I am anxious about it. We've heard such horible stories of bad things happening to Canadian tourist in Mexico. I wish they were going some where else.
As I look out my window the snow is coming down sideways, the bay is white, a ship is stuck in the ice. The poor little birds are huddled at the feeder for shelter. We're two days in to spring and yet it feels like Christmas.

LOST KITTENS

2008-02-24T08:02:00.000-05:00

THE LOST KITTENS

Did I tell you the story of the lost kittens? In November I took my daughter's dog "Beau" and my dog "Lucky" for a walk in a field near the soccer pitch. It was the weekend of the hurricane. Beau was sniffing around the tall grass, when out popped a little head. A beautiful frightened kitten. And then another one! The dogs chased and cornered the kitten. I took the dogs home got a cage and some cat food and went back. I found the two little ones huddled under a thistle . I sat down beside them and made a trail of cat food. The calico one was brave and slowly ventured towards the cage. After what seemed
like an hour I managed to get the two of them in the cage and brought them home.
I knew I would keep them . I did and it's been a wild ride. I feel like a 65 year old woman who gave birth to two year old twins. They have utterly destroyed every plant I own. They insist on squating in the plants and digging out the dirt. They have gouged a teeny speck in the wall into a large gaping hole down to the plaster. They bounce on the bed all night.When I toss them out , they take runs at the door and hurl their body against it.
They terrorize the old cat and dog. They scratch and bite.
There are however quiet moments, when they are adorable. I meditate in the mornings. They spread around
me like a little sanga, all spread out in front of the fireplace.This morning they are looking out the window in my study. Watching the pigeons and redpolls at the feeder. They are spellbound. I haven't let them out yet. In the spring , when I start to garden , they will come out and help, by fertilizing, no doubt.
I can't understand people who live alone who won't get a pet because it's too much trouble. It is too much trouble , but it sure keeps you alive and makes it feel like a home (even though at times , it feels like I'm living in a zoo.)

2008-02-18T13:07:00.000-05:00

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

I hope you had a wonderful Valintines Day. I did.
Chocolates from my daughter and a beautiful card that made me happy. My other daughter gave me a certificate to Kiva. if you don't know what that is "google " it. It's a grassroots lending agency. They charge no interest on the loan. you lend the money to people in the 'developing' world . A misnomer if there ever was one. They are developed, but continually exploited by the West or corrupt governments. In any case, the jist of it is , you lend money to someone who wants to buy some chickens, or set up a canteen, or buy supplies for a craft. They get money from you as well as other lenders. You charge no interest, the repayment rate is around or above 90%. When you recieve your repayment, you could just keep the money working to help others. I love the idea. It isn't charity, it's a loan, and you know for you Christians. the bible says you should not charge interest on money lent. Banks take heed! It's an idea whose time has come.
The tulips were from me! I needed to see spring. And tulips are much cheaper than airfare to Florida (which is where my soul is).I bought 6 bunches, kept two for me and gave the rest away.
Winter is a drag. I'm too old to be cold. The night before last, my furnace gave out at 4 am. My basement is only accessible outdoors under the deck. So at 4 am I am crawling on my hands and knees through a snowdrift to the rat hole Icall a basement , to try to restart the furnace. It works, but by now I am wide awake and into survival mode. I cannot sleep. Seeing I only had sporadic sleep the night before as I babysat my grandchildren and a buddy who slept over. My 7 year old grandson punched him in the stomach just before bedtime and loudly announced, "I dont' like sleepovers!" Neither did I at that point (or ever )
His stoic friend whimpered all night. My three year old grandaughter fell out of bed. The only one who slept was the naughty boy. See there is no justice for the wicked.
Today i'm recovering from a wild weekend. I think I liked it better when I was the one who stayed out all night and slept till 4pm the next day, next to my valentine.

2008-02-09T15:22:00.000-05:00

A WINTER GETAWAY

Last weekend 10 of us woman folk went to this lovely chalet nestled in the magnificent Humber Valley. It was a weekend getaway. A grandmother, mother and daughter retreat.
The place was so luxurious, it had 6 large bedrooms, 8 bathrooms, an outdoor hot tub and a sauna. We took advantage of everything. My pores have never been so clean!
We brought spa stuff and at one point we had the two elder nannies in a foot bubble bath.The bubbles just kept getting higher and higher.

We all contributed to a wonderful potluck supper and a tasty breakfast. We drank lots of wine, ate chocolates and did our nails. No kids allowed , however we may bring the little girls next time. It would be fun to have 4 generations.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2008-01-01T11:43:00.000-05:00

I so wish I had a photo to put in here ,but i don't and I'm too scrupulous to steal one, although that is my inclination. My friend Hooodie Rowlings emailed me a New Years greeting with the most beautiful photo of the full moon over Main Brook. I could ask Hoodie for permission to use his photo, but that wouldn't solve the problem as I dont' think I could get it posted on my blog.
so I'll paint a picture with words for you.
It's a beautiful day here in Little Rock. The sky is azure blue. There are still roses bloomng and not a peck of snow. What will I do when I have to go back home and deal with mountains of snow?
My son in law is listening to the Rose Bowl football game and every once in a few minutes, he erupts with loud hog like noises. The meaning of which is only known to those who follow football.
My youngest grandson is rolling a marble across the floor. He has abandoned shouting orders to his mother to "come right now!" I told him he is very bossy, it didn't seem to register. He is the cock of the walk. he struts around like a football player. He talks a lot about God and asks constantly where his heart is. He told us the other day, "I have two hearts momma"
I believe he does.
My eldest grandson is awaiting his birthday tomorrow. He will be nine. I am giving him money. That is his request. He wants to buy a collection of "Calvin and Hobbs".His mother loved "Calvin and Hobbs" at his age. He is so like her. Serious , but a monkey mind, he loves to scare me with his motion alarm. He hides it , so it will alarm when I least expect it.
My middle grandson is soon to be seven . His birthday is on the Feast of the Ephinany. He also wants money and since I will be leaving on his birthday, I will give him his money tomorrow as well. He is lovely and quiet and mysterious. He doesn't let you see his inside often, but when he does it glows. He and his older brother are like Calvin and Hobbs, they are lost without the other.
My sister and I were like that. We grew up as each other's shadows. We are shaped by our relationship to our siblings. Like trees that grow in the forest, we wrap around each other and grow together.
Today is my mother's 99th birthday. She has been dead for six years. I played her favourite song this morning. It was "Danny Boy". I always get weepy when I hear it sung.
We are cleaning up from the party , my daughter hosted last night. It was so lovely. The house was bathed in candlelight. She was at her loveliest, sparkling and glowing. It is so wonderful to be here and to be part of this family. I love my daughter's friends. They feel like my friends as well. I have been here so often that I have a history here. It feels like coming home.
What will the New Year bring? At one time I could intuit what the new year would bring. I seem to have lost that ability, or perhaps, I like my "not know mind" too much. I love that life is full of surprises and that we have no way of knowing what tomorrow may bring. For certain, it will not stay the same. Life doesn't stand still, for good or bad, it is like a river flowing , flowing, carrying us into the unknown. We need to trust that we are where we need to be and we are being carried along on this wonderful river called life..............

Boxing Day 2007

2007-12-26T21:50:00.000-05:00

It's Boxing Day and I am in Little Rock. It is also my only grandaughter's third birthday. she was born on the day of the Big Tsunami. I remember a certain buzz in the hospital and that word being said. I'm not sure I had ever heard it before. If I had it certainly held no import.
When we found out the magnitude of the event, our tiny new life became even more precious.
It was a harrowing trip down to Arkansas. Not because of the weather, although indirectly it was. A big storm in the midwest held up the plane we were waitng for in Newark. I was carrying a box of live lobsters , packed in ice (or so i thought, it turned out to be a bag of frozen peas!)
They were a gift for my daughter and her family from her sister. they were a precious cargo.
But they arrived safe and delicious after sitting around in the Newark airiort for 6 hours.We dumped them into the bath tub in the morning and the boys had lots of fun watching them and fishing them out with a net to put in the pot. We even got brave enough to carry them in our bare hands to the pot.
They were some of the tastiest lobsters i've ever eaten. One had a whitebeard, we called him Santa Lobster.
Our Christmas has been wonderful. Lots of excitement on Christmas morning. Santa was very generous to the three little boys who live here. They got lots of toys and a big surprise of an Xbox and a brand new computer.
My daughter cooked a wonderful supper of roast beef and roasted vegetables. I'm so glad my appetite came back and i enjoyed every mouthful. We had a triffle and a cake that was from my son in laws family traditions.
I's been sunny and warm, up until today, when it actually snowed for a second. The boys ran around the house yelling "it's snowing! it's snowing !". That was not music to my ears. We've had banks of snow since the first of December.
Today we lazed around reading, playing games and watching movies. It's been a lovely day. I had a nice long nap. The baby and I curled up and read his new Christmas books.

Halloween

2007-10-28T08:51:00.000-04:00

Soon it will be All Hallows Eve. The ghouls and goblins will be afoot.I love Halloween. When I was a little girl, it was one of the best nights of the year.We dressed up in homemade costumes, a hobo, a witch, a ghost. something easy to throw together. We weren't that imaginative. And unlike today, there were no store bought costumes. The main accessory was the pillow slip. It held all the candy and apples and other goodies shelled out .

In those days, we didn't get a lot of candy. Ocassionally we would sell a milk bottle and buy a chocolate bar, a small one for 5 cents,and a large one for 10 cents . It was a real treat!

There were always "tricks" as well as "treats"on Halloween night. One of the most impressive one was when some hooligans burned down the old sawmill . It was a spectacular blaze. The sawdust that had been accumulating for 50 years of more,burned for days.

There were the run of the mill tricks, like turning over an outhouse. Or soaping someone's windows(if you didn't get a treat that's what you'd do),and of course egging someones house or car.

It usually rained on the Halloweens I remember. The streets would be dark and slippery with smashed pumpkins.

Along the way we'd compare the size of our loot and tell each other of the best houses to go to. I remember once knocking on a door, and being asked to come in and show off our costumes. I never forgot that,an adult actually taking an interest in us. Ocassionally someone would be in tears over some bully swiping their bag.Sympathetic friends would share some of their goodies to help out .

When the evening was over, we'd go home and spread our loot out on our bed and trade each other candies or treats we didnt' like. The apples would go to Mom for apple pie I think my favourite was MacIntosh Carmel , although I loved molasses kisses in Halloween wrap. I also cherished Kraft carmels.........mmmm ........I can still taste those.

Nowadays the stores are full of Halloween goodies. Costumes abound, not the tissue paper kind, but well made super heros and a plethora of princesses costumes. The boys are ninjas, or spiderman, pirates, soldiers and transformers. The girls are Snow White, Cinderella, Arial, the little mermaid ,or Tinkerbelle .

I don't get many children at my door, as I live at the end of the street. I always buy as if there will be hundreds, as there were in our old neghbourhood. We used to always have a pot of chili on the stove. Friends would make our house a stop over for a bowl of chili and a glass of wine or beer for the Dad's. There was always such energy and excitement.Trying to keep the dog and the cat in. Oohing and aahing over little ones, parents waiting discreetly by the walk.

the house in an October glow. Jack O Lantern in his place of honour, smiling or sneering ,presiding over it all. Bowls of chips and candy, given out in handfuls. It was almost as much fun to stay home to hand out the goodies as it was to go out trick or treating.

I always love walking to work the morning after Halloween, when the streets are littered with candy wraps, pumpkin pieces,lattened apples and other remnants of the debauchery. And isn't that what it's all about? All Hallows Eve. All that is holy, all that is 'halo-ed', the celebration before the death watch of winter.

Cabbage Rolls

2007-10-18T19:36:00.000-04:00

It's fall! I have to start writing regularly. i was watching a T.V program about blogging .The blogger was advising "would be bloggers" to write often otherwise you could lose your audience.

Since I have an audience of 2-3, I can't afford to lose anyone.

This is a photo of my orange haired grandson taken last fall (not by me) he loves camouflage and is a bit of a chameleon.This photo captures him perfectly.

I wanted to post a photo of cabbage rolls , but we ate them. I had made a big pot of them and had 8 of my closest female friends over for cabbage rolls and pineapple squares. It was a wonderful evening. Lots of wine and laughs. Good medicine for the darkening days of fall.

Both recipes came from my mother-in law Mary Leonard.

She was a remarkable woman. you can read about her on my daughter's blog : http://www.notestoself.us/ and her cousins blog"hava honeymoon" only the later is by invitation only.

Mary was their fathers' mother. She was a brilliant , beautiful woman with real class. She was a teacher , mother , wife,fisher woman,and prankster she raised eight children all who have inherited her creativity. my daughter and her cousin are a lot like their grandmother, they too are beautiful and brilliant and have her gift of writing.

She also could cook. WhenI first met her she baked 8-10 loaves of bread a day.

Supper around her table was a lively affair.Lots of politics, religion and the arts. Grand arguments would erupt , kind of frightening for someone whose family around the supper table barely spoke . Sometimes the arguments were so heated I thought they would come to blows, but when the meal was over everyone left the table in good humour.

The cabbage rolls, came to Newfoundland via the Lebanese immigrants. Newfoundlanders took to the dish as it consisted of readily available fare. Ground beef, cabbage, and tomatoes.

I adapted the recipe from my mother in law. She used tomato soup in the sauce and tomato juice. I use tin tomatoes and tomato sauce. The adapted recipe is:

1 head of cabbage (leafy and large, I find the pointy ones work best)

Remove the leaves and steam them until they are pliable.

You may have to boil or microwave the whole cabbage to get the leaves off.

The stuffing : a pound or two of regular ground beef (the fat makes it moist and tasty). I sometimes use half ground moose meat.

A cup or two of white rice.Salt and pepper and a good tablespoon of garlic powder

mix with half a tin of tomato sauce. I find using my hands to mix is best,

almost like kneading bread.

Place a dollop (small handful) of mix on the steamed cabbage leaf and wrap it up,

I usually shave a bit off the spine of the cabbage leaf to make it easier to wrap.Tuck

in the sides and roll up. fasten with a sturdy tooth pick.(be sure to warn your guest

about the tooth pick)

Pack the cabbage rolls into a large stock pot. Be sure to put a cake rack the bottom.

You could line the bottom of the pot with left over cabbage leaves.

The sauce: 2-4 large tins of tomatoes, whole or diced, but not flavoured.

2-4 large tins of tomato sauce(Heinz or Hunts) also plain.

many many cloves of garlic. i sometimes have used 20, salt and fresh ground

pepper to taste.

Cover , bring to a boil ,turn down the heat to a rolling simmer and cook for 3-4

hours.

Some people bake the cabbage rolls in the oven, I find they tend to be dry.

if you do bake them I would suggest 350 degrees for about 2 hours. Cover the

baking dish with aluminum foil.

Now for the Pineapple Squares:

bottom: in an 8x8in' square pan, mix 1/2 cup of butter (real)

1cup flour

1 tbsp of sugar.

mix with your hands and pat into the bottom of the pan.

Bake at 375 for 10 mins or until the edges are light brown.

Cool and set aside.

Drain 1 in (16 oz.) of crushed pineapples.

Add 1 tin of cream (Fussels or Nestles)

Mix together and set aside

Middle:

1&1/2 sifted icing sugar

1 egg

1tsp vanilla

1/2 cup of soft butter (not melted)

Mix together with an electric mixer .

Assemble: Spread the custard (the middle) on the cooled shortbread bottom.

top with the pineapple and cream mixture. Refrigerate. Cut into squares and enjoy.

Warning: because there is a raw egg in the pineapple squares keep them

refrigerated .

There you have it. I'm passing along a wonderful family tradition. I hope it brings you as much pleasure as it has given me over the years.............

bonne appetite!

autumn in sop's arm

2007-09-22T19:54:00.000-04:00

It has been a simply spendid day! I drove to Sop's Arm to visit a friend .It has been a perfect autumn day. The sky was blue , the leaves are just starting to turn. I travelled with old friends and had a fantastic meal, picked partridge berries and laid in the sun

What more could one ask from life?

So far it's been a wonderful fall. Very warm weather, sunny clear days. The garden is still blooming. I've been in such a good place these last few weeks. I'm almost fearful the shoe will drop and it will all come crashing down.

I'm kind of worried, I half think the medication i'm on for my arthritic knee, is giving me a high. I'm actually happy!

The summer family reunion is over.It was a wonderful time. Seeing cousins I haven't seen for a while.Spending time with my sisters and my brother. In a perfect location on the Bay of Funday. I've already booked a cottage for next year when we have a school reunion.

We took a side trip to Bar Harbor (or as my little grandaughter says:"baaaa haaa baaa" with a lovely trill to her voice). I love Bar Harbor, there is something magical about it.

We had some tense moments when the leaf spring on the pop-up camper broke in the middle of a busy intersection. People popped out of everywhere to offer assistance. We called a tow truck and got a guy with a big attitude and a swagger. He strapped the camper in a sling and took it off to his garage.

We drove on to Bar Harbor, a little frayed, it was late and we were warned we wouldn't find a motel . My daughter insisted on getting a motel with a pool . I was sure we wouldn't and it was a waste of time to look. But she found one! Although the pool hadn't been operational for 3 years'

The gypsy who ran the place said she couldn't find a plumber.

It was great! clean and central. Just down the road was the loveliest wading pool. The children loved it . It was a big circular shallow wading pool, deep enough for me to sit in and shallow enough that we didn't have to worry about the kids.

We ate at great restaurants, went shopping.visited a museum, long walks along the shore. It was heavenly and felt like a real holiday.Even though it was only a couple of days I know the kids will have cherished memories of the trip.

They loved meeting new cousins and still talk about them.

Our family reunion ended with a lovely brunch. We weren't able to stay for the whale watch, as we wanted to drive as close to the ferry as we could. Living in Newfoundland, we often get to see whales and dolphins, even in the Bay of Islands.

Since coming home, I've been busy at work. Still enjoying it a lot. I may be staying on longer than I thought. It's been a busy fall. I'm going away next weekend to a lodge in the country. Thanksgiving weekend I'll be in Montreal. In November I signed up for a "Body,Mind and Soul" retreat.

Then I'm not sure how the winter will shape up. I do want to go down south. Christmas plans aren't formulated. And I have a big birthday coming up in April..............

There's just too much living to do............

2007-08-09T20:45:00.000-04:00

Summer Report

where have i been some of my loyal readers might have wondered. well i've been working. i was coaxed out of retirement and back into the work force. i am now a family mediator. it's such interesting work and would recommend it as a career for anyone who likes to help people fix their problems.
it suits me as i am a kind of middle of the road person. i can recall as a little girl thinking the middle is a good place to be. funny because some 60 years later and an interest in buddhism. i try to follow "the middle way". being a mediator means literally being in the middle. being a neutral third party who helps couples come up with their own solution to parenting and supporting their children.
it's a much more compassionate and healing process than the antiquated court process, that pits one side against the other. and where no one wins , especially the children.
i meditate then i mediate. it suits me. i like to think of my self as a fair person, compassionate, and a good listener. my weakness is not a good memory.
when i was little i hated conflict. i avoided it all my life. as i matured , i realized conflict is not all negative. it brings about change. being in a joint mediation session is being in the midst of conflict. but it's not my conflict. i just play referee and try to keep the communication fair and directed towards a resolution. it is so satisfying at the end of a session to see the old adversaries walk out laughing. almost holding hands, but not quite. knowing that they still have something in common, that they each love their children more than anyone else in the world.
so that's where i've been. it's temporary. if i were younger i'd consider staying with it. but having had a taste of freedom, i can't go back. i miss waking up and feeling " i don't really have to get up" although i usually do. planning my day around trips to the grocery store, luch with an old friend, being available to pick up my grandson at school. be avaiable period for whatever the day brings. what more can one ask for ?

2007-06-03T08:39:00.000-04:00

NO ONE CALLS ME CUPCAKE

Isn't this a great name for a book? or a blog? or a poem? in anycase I am copyrighting it as we speak. it's mine!
It popped into my head the other day.I opened the cupboard ( another funny word) and looked up at the cupcake liners. and i thought " no one calls me 'cupcake'. or 'sweetie', or 'sugar', or 'honey', or 'muffin' , or 'darling', or any of the terms of endearment.
I miss that. not that I ever had a lot of it, growing up my stepfather called me "pussy cat" one time . I held on to that like it was a beautiful white angora kitten. It was mine . It was a gift of love. rare for my stepfather as he wasn't prone to superlatives of any kind.
My husband called me "darling" and i called him "darling" we used it everyday. i don't recall any other term of sweetness we shared even though there was lots of love in our home. I called my children "pumpkin", "sweetie pie" ,"baby", " sweat pea" , "angel", "darling"," dolly","princess" and others i'll remember tomorrow.
I also rhyme names. " kiki leaky", emmy bemmy". "missy moo" and the like.........
you get the idea.
When i first moved to Newfoundland I was startled by the common usage of terms of endearment used by everyone, including strangers. If you took a taxi , the driver would address you as "my love", the waitress at the restaurant would call you "duckie". in the run of a day you might be called "old dear" "my old trout"," my love","my dear" , "my doll" , my darling" any number of times by anyone you spoke to.
When I was a lawyer I'd have clients refer to me as "girl", "my doll", "my love" my honey" all the time. I never took offence to it, especially when it came from and older gentleman. it was a lovely custom.
I dont' hear it often any more. What I do hear is a lot of public cursing, especially from the young. And now I even hear it on the radio and tv.it isn't that I don't use it , I certainly do. I started late in life. when I was at law school actually. It helped to blow off steam. for the most part I'm very careful where and when i curse, but you know it has a way of slipping out.
Getting back to terms of endearment. The summer we were married , we came to stay with my mother in law. I was a little alarmed that she frequently called me "maid". She would say "set the table maid", "run upstairs and put some lipstick on maid", " fetch the clothes off the line maid". When I complained to my husband that his mother treated me like a maid, he explained that everyone in Newfoundland calls a woman "maid" regardless of her age , just as a man was refered to as "bye" as in the traditional folk song : "I'se the bye who builds the boat, I'se the bye who sails her". It is a lovely custom. It conveys to perfect strangers they are loved. What more could anyone want?
See ye later "me old trout"................

2007-05-13T08:41:00.000-04:00

Happy Mother's Day !

This morning i meditated on the mothers in my family. It spanned six generations . It began with my Great grandmother who emigrated from Bellerup, Denmark the day after her wedding. She came to northern New Brunswick with her husband. They had been promised good farmland cheaply. It turned out to be wilderness.
She had nine children, four of whom died in childhood. One by fire and the others diphtheria. How did she survive?I have a photo of her. she is wearing a danish costume, only for her it wasn't a costume , it was her daily outfit. a long woolen skirt. a puffy sleeved printed shirt and an odd hat . I love that photo. When i was a little girl, my mother told me 'Grammy' had her hand in her pocket because she kept candy there. She always carried sweets for the little ones. I'm like that. When i go to pick up my grandson at kindergarten i always bring a little treat .
Then there was my grandmother, "Ruby Nancy " She was born in Maine. She had been orphaned and raised by relatives. My grandfather boarded at her parent's home. They fell in love and moved to New Denmark to the farm, my great grandparents had carved out of the forest. I don't think Ruby was happy there . She was a city girl. The Danes, according to my mother were very straight laced and didn't accept outsiders . She had eight children. My grandfather died rather young leaving her to run the farm and raise the children on her own. She sold the farm and moved in with my mother. She partied a bit and painted her lips and nails. You know the song:"Oh Ruby, you've painted your lips..........Don't take your love to town". Well she did.
My mom ( who was the best of the lot of them) was the eldest of her family. She worked the farm along side of her father. She loved horses and rode bareback. She was daring and courageous. Her sister told me mom was not afraid of anything. I love the story she tells about them swimming in the swimming hole and stealing their younger sister's clothes and making her walk home naked. It was mean and rotten . But it says so much about the three of them on that dirt country road in the heat of the summer.
My mother had eight children, one of whom died when he was nine months old. There are four daughters and three sons. I am the youngest. I have two daughters . I can honestly say all of my sisters are wonderful mother's and their daughters are fabulous mothers. I feel so proud when I
look at my nieces and great nieces at how amazing they are, not to mention my own fantastic daughters who are the most amazing women and mothers EVER. And i would be remiss not to mention my sister -in - laws. I have been blessed. My brothers have been blessed. Their children have had great mothers.
But more than anything I want to thank stepmothers everywhere. To my mind this is the hardest job of all. Motherhood carries with it an inherent recognition and honour, but not so with a step mom. They are not always accepted or honoured.They are not the "real mother" and may not particularly like their inherited family. But my hats are off to those who try.To those who are kind and patient and respectful . I believe they have a free pass to heaven. And they will also get breakfast in bed this wonderful morning along with all the other great moms past and present.
I have only one granddaughter. I hope I will have lots and lots of great granddaughters and wonderful granddaughters -in- law. I see in my tiny granddaughter the makings of a mother in the tradition of all the great ones in my family. Whether she has children or not, that 's for her and fate to decide. But I do know and see in her the traits that have passed down through the ages of love and caring and courage and curiosity and joy at this marvelous wonderful gift of life we have been given by our mothers (okay and fathers, but hey it isn't father's day yet!)

2007-05-12T14:35:00.000-04:00

my guy

this is lucky. we're in love. lucky came into my life the day
before my husband died. i was on my way to the hospital with my dog"happy" and my daughter's dog "beau". it was also the day of my grandson's "kissening" ( as opposed to
"christening") which we were having on the beach at my cabin across the bay.
as i was driving to the hospital i spotted a little
white and black dog running with a 20ft chain dragging behind him.
i stopped and unhooked his chain and tossed it beside a telephone pole. the dog jumped in the car , very excited to see the other dogs. i was in a rush and decided to take him
with me and deal with finding his owner later.
i called the radio on my cell phone and had them make
an announcement. the owners called while i was driving home . i dropped him off enroute. it turned out that i had picked him up in front of his house (it is true, there is no such thing as a lost dog, it is just a dog on his way home!)
i mentioned to the owner that i was smitten with him and if they ever considered getting rid of him , i would be happy to have him.

it was only a few months later when my dog "happy " died. i was devastated. i had lost my husband , my mother , my mother-in- law and my dog all in a space of 12 months. it was too much . i was filled with grief. i think it all culminated with the loss of my dog.
a year later , almost to the day, "lucky " showed up at my door. it turned out his name was "lucky" and that was what i had called him when i first saw him. it was the day before my daughter's wedding. which was taking place at my cabin across the bay.
i opened the door and there he was. my little grandson and i walked him home. again i asked the owner if he would consider letting me keep him. he declined saying that his little boy would be heartbroken. as i turned to leave i noticed a cigarette but floating in lucky's water bowl. i felt sick.
after the wedding, my friend and i went to a week long buddhist retreat just outside of boston. it was to wind down and recharge my batteries after a stressfull year. when i arrived home , i saw a photo of a stray dog in the local paper. he looked just like "lucky". i called my friend who worked with the spca and asked her if it were possible that this was "lucky". she said it was. we tore off down to the animal shelter and sure enough it was! i paid the fee and brought lucky home. wow! it had been meant to be. as an aside my friend also fell in love with a dog at the shelter that day. she brought home "abigal".
lucky was home a day or so, when he managed to escape. my heart sank. i knew he would find his way back to his previous owners. i also knew if he did i would have to let him stay. that was his home afterall.
it wasn't an hour before a knock came to the door. here was lucky and his owner. this time it was the wife. she told me she wanted me to have the dog. she said he kept running away and they couldn't afford to pay the fine. she asked me one favour, that i not walk him past her house. she didn't want her son to know where lucky was. i told her i was happy to share lucky with her son. she said no.
lucky has been with me for 5 years. i tell everyone " i got lucky" and i did.
yesterday lucky got terribly ill. he had diarrhea and was vomiting copious amounts of a watery liquid. the carpet was covered from one end of the house to the other. it was vile. poor lucky.
i thought perhaps it was one of two things ( or both). he had eaten something on our walk on the beach at the cabin, and/or it was the tin of dog food i gave him. i had forgotten to bring his usual food and bought a tin at the store. "beau" had been with us and ate the same food. he didn't get sick.
about 3am this morning , i woke suddenly , with the horrible thought " lucky has parvo virus!" i got up, went online and looked it up. it sure sounded like it...........
"oh my god! i'm going to lose him".
i panicked . he wasn't in the bed . i couldn't hear him breathing. i checked under the bed. he was curled up in a ball, looking very forlorn.
as soon as i could this morning , i delivered him to the vet. she said to leave him as she would need to run tests. he was so anxious, seeing his sweet little face in the cage was more than i could bear.
i went home and waited. a couple of hours the clinic called . the test for parvo was negative. i felt such a sense of relief. i knew he would be okay. it had to be something he ate. i raced down to get him. i booked appointments for both he and 'beau' to have all their shots. i'm taking no chances!
maybe that was the good that came out of it. i had become complacent about his immunization. thank god, i didn't have to carry that guilt with me.
so lucky has had his meds. he's at my feet snoring. my heart is light. we will go for a little walk in awhile.
i got lucky again!

2007-05-09T08:54:00.000-04:00

morning walk

this morning wednesday,i would normally go to the gym with my friend, but since she went into st john's this morning, i decided to take the dogs for a walk aroung the pond instead. it's the first warm , sunny day we've had in ages. much nicer than a sweaty smelly gym.
i let the dogs off leash, as my knee is bad and going down the steep stairs is dangerous with two dogs pulling. these dogs are small but mighty. just as i reached the bottom step, i spotted a woman and her dog. i yelled at my dogs, one of them being a fighter. needless to say neither of them listened to me. i don't have an authoritative voice. the lady tried to command them to back off, they didn't listen to her either. i managed to grab the fighter and let her know the other one was a lover.
she indicated her dog was new and only 6 months old. i admired him and we exchanged dog bios. she asked if i would mind permitting her and "rascal" to walk with us, as she was trying to introduce him to other dogs. she introduced herself as "suzanne". i told her my full name. upon hearing it she shreiked and hit her head. then she told me her full name. it turns out, she is an old girlfriend of my exhusband. they were sweethearts when they were in high school , a hundred years ago. he never got over her and held her up as his standard of the perfect woman.
i told her that i had heard about her for over 40 years. well she turned out to be as lovely as he described. we walked around the pond , me telling her intimate details of my marriage, and of his life and death . suzanne filling me in on their teen years . it turns out she left home in her teens and moved to british columbia. she recently returned home to care for an aging parent. she has decided to remain here.
it's so funny, i knew so much about my husband's early years that it felt like she was someone i had shared a history. we both laughed thinking how much he would have enjoyed our meeting.
when the walk ended we exchanged phone numbers and promised we would do it again.

2007-05-03T07:04:00.000-04:00

RDF

the weatherman carl wells, starts the nightly forcast with "more RDF tomorrow and on into the weekend". for the non newfoundlanders "RDF" is short for "rain , drizzle and fog". it settles in this time of year like a wet blanket and refuses to leave. it's cold and damp and generally miserable. why do we stay in this godforsaken rock?
not an easy question to answer , and one i've been asking for over 40 years. i was born in new brunswick where there are 4 seasons. spring comes mid march and lasts till mid june, summer ends on sept 21st , a beautiful fall then winter arrives on the longest day of the year. it's all do-able.
why isn't it like that here? what happened to global warming? where is the gulf stream? where is the sun? is there any hope? are we doomed? what have we done to deserve this?
then the sun breaks through and the sky opens up and our hearts begin to sing. like convicts unexpectedly released from prison, we are gleeful and happy at last. we know there is a god. and he/she is good (most of the time).
we are a schizophrenic people, we live in doom and gloom, then when the sun comes out and warms the cockles of our heart , we are manic, we're out in the street dancing and singing and speaking to every living creature. in our depressive state , we back bite, take up petitions against our neighbours and come to blows over a shovelful of snow.
why do we live here? because it is the best place on earth. it has grandeur. it is not polluted. we have a big sky, big land, lots of wilderness, it isn't crowded, it is safe, there are wild animals, we have a balanced life, we aren't caught up in materialism, our feet are squarely on the ground. we won't starve to death alone or die of heat exhaustion. chances are we won't be shot or run over trying to cross the road. we can't avoid our neighbour and the small annoyances we suffer from them teach us patience.
we live in survival mode. life is precious. we need to huddle against the cold. we need to croon lulabies to keep us feeling safe.and tell each other stories of courage and bravery to make us strong. and above all we need to laugh and make merry to nourish our spirit.
so you see RDF is good for the soul. in a steady prevasive mist it coaxes the life force from the ground. the green force is moving in the earth even when we can't see it. just as our hearts are humming, humming , faintly humming a spring song.

2007-04-29T08:25:00.000-04:00

spring outing

on friday we spent the day at my cabin across the bay. it was glorious. chilly at first, but after lunch the wind died down and it got warm. my grandson and i trenched the ditch that runs along the lane. it was so lovely , we were like two happy beavers sloshing around in the water, getting our boots sucked into the mud. clearing balls of roots, digging , cracking off icicles off the side of the little water fall.
i love spring trenching. one year i managed to dig a channel across the lower field and created a brook, which carries the runoff down the bank along the beach and into the bay. it still works today.
when my girls were small they played on the river bank endlessly. in those days there were hundreds of pulp logs washed up on the beach. the girls would get poles and push the logs out to sea. they were tiny loggers, skipping from log to log, occasionaly falling into the icy water.
spring when i was growing up meant trips the "the bog" gathering tadpoles , bringing them home in jam jars, watching them grow, first little leg buds, then the tail would start to disappear. eventually they would die or if they were lucky to survive, be released back into the bog.
on friday we saw the first of the robins, colts foot, and the tiny light green shoots of the iris returning.

" spring has sprung,
the grass is riz

i wonder where the boys is?"

2007-04-13T15:02:00.000-04:00

"wee ball"

this is the view from my daughter's cabin. it's of an island in the bay of island's , it's official name is "tweed island" but locally it's always been known as "wee ball". the photo doesn't show the entire island , it is very round and steep. in the summer it always has a perfect little cloud cap hovering over it. i call it "wee ball's hat". some day i want to write a children's book about wee ball.
my late father-in-law used to call me a "wee ball" if i was acting stand-offish.

the photo was taken on good friday. we went down with the children and had such a wonderful time. the ice is still in the bay and the children "copied" the ballyclatters. in other words they jumped from ice pan to ice pan. this was a great sport in outports in the spring. and a dangerous one as often the icepans would be floating and with the right wind they could float out to sea with the little adventurer still on it.
no crocus up in my garden yet, however the sun has been out for three days this week and is feeling strong on my face. the snow is evaporating . it's still a bit coolish though..
it's taken me a couple of weeks to adjust to being home. i miss the warmth of the south. and also missed having someone around all the time. it was a great holiday. now i have to settle in to 'real life'.
i guess i feel a little like a "wee ball" these days myself!

2007-04-02T09:45:00.000-04:00

spring, where are you ?

this is a prehistoric beast we saw at the little rock zoo.
it expresses exactly how i feel today. ancient, stiff and
very cold. it was in an aquarium with some innocuous fish.
i thought it was a stone but it moved it's mouth ever so
slightly. it was like something you'd see in pompeii,
frozen in time , caught unawares by molton lava.
that's my grandson's reflection in the glass.
any way it is how i feel. since coming home from my
wonderful 5 week holiday (yes even the babysitting)
i have felt down , a kind of low grade depression. like i really don't want to be here. where are the good times? eating out, being pampered, never being alone. meeting funny and interesting people. going to a professsional ball game. feeling the power of the healing sun, flowers blooming, bird song everywhere, squirrels scampering, crane family, alligator. walks and talks, playing cards, constant bantering and laughter. where has it all gone?
i'm home alone, well almost, the cat and dog are here. but i'm cross with them, they've messed on the carpet, the dog is shedding. they're so demanding and give little in return. it's all about ME with them. when do they do for me? " feed me ","walk me"yatta, yatta.........
there is ice in the harbour, it's cold, and snow as far as the eye can see.
my knee is sore( i injured it running after planes)
the bills have piled up. i have no money left to pay them. it's income tax time.
i haven't been to the gym, i'm overeating again ( thanks to my host's empty fridge
i couldn't have overeaten even if i wanted to).
i miss the palm trees, i miss my sister, i miss the pool...........
god, why have you forsaken me????????????

2007-03-17T11:46:00.000-04:00

HAPPY ST PATRICK'S DAY!
my mom was danish. she thought she was irish. she loved irish culture. she married an irish man and adopted his cultural heritage. on st patrick's day she would dig out her gramaphone (record player) and play all her favourite irish music. she loved "danny boy" best. she would sing "paddy mcguinty's goat at the top of her lungs.
we would go to the st patrick's day concert at(where else?) st patrick's hall. joe healy , would direct the concert. joe must have worked on broadway. he was a genius at musicals. all the children in parish would perform. dressed in green and white and wearing top hats with shamrocks.
today i couldn't be further away from that life. i am in florida. it is cool ( a mere 50 degrees!). it's quiet. we did go to the social club for coffee and donuts. a few people sported green. no one sang though and i haven't heard a peck of irish music. it warms the cockles of my heart to know that my sister jackie is singing " danny boy" , "when irish eyes are smiling", "on the rocky road to dublin" and " an irish lullaby" ( toora loora, loora)
and that somewhere in mother's heaven my mom is singing paddy mcguinty's goat.
and best of all i get to spend the day with a true irish colleen by the name of pat what could be more irish? i'll get her to tell me stories about her colourful irish bootlegger granny..........

2007-03-09T10:21:00.000-05:00

sweet relief

they are home! the parents that is. i survived. it was hard but i survived and i think my grandsons still like me. the baby has been avoiding eye contact, he may be feeling a little guilty cheating on mommy ( the breast incident). it was an experience i would not have wanted to miss. it's like french immersion. being thrown in the middle of a pack of wild wolf puppies.
there were many benefits, one was to experience the essence of my daughter's home. and to feel the wonderful peace and family life she and her husband have created.
walking into their bedroom, flooded wiith afternoon sunlight , it felt a sacred place.
the boys are just amazing children, kind , sweet and peppered with enough michieviousness to be healthy rowdy boys.
reading stories at bedtime was my favourite thing. they are so saturated in creativity. great imaginations, reminding me that i once had access to that wonderful place of "make believe".
and i fell in love with the baby. blond and cherub looking. so loving and thoughtful. after wrestling him to change his poopy diaper he would say "tank you " his favourite words are "tank you " and "torry nan"
the teachers report that he has on several occassions clobbered another student. when i discuss it with him, our conversation goes like this:
nanny: did you have a good day at school today?
baby: yeth
nanny: the teacher says you hit someone. did you?
baby: no
nanny: you know it's not a nice thing to hit someone, don't you?
baby: torry nan!
nanny : you won't do it anymore will you?
baby: o tay nan!

you know he is the most unaggressive child at home, i can't believe he hits other kids at school. i suspect his back must be to the wall...............
so now i'm relishing in having no duties. and looking forward to the next leg of the journey. my play time in florida. it's somewhat like play school , we all ge t together everyday at the social center and play all day. i promise i will not hit anyone(unless they hit me first)

2007-02-24T19:38:00.000-05:00

little rock
well i am here in little rock. on my own with three little boys . it's a little daunting on many levels. not the least is just the physical exertion. the baby is almost three, however he is still a baby and likes to be picked up and carried. he also is an imp and likes to see nanny run.
on my way down the time between flights was very short. i ended up running the length of the montreal airport and chicago o'hare. i sprained my knee. it is possible. my friend who is a nurse told me so.
it hurts and is weak. i have reinjured it twice trying to run after the baby. he just laughs and laughs. today it was raining very hard, so we decided to make a trip to the library. we got caught in a torrential downpour. after paying a king's ransom in library fines, we were ready to head for home.

not the baby. he decided it would be a real joke to hide from nanny and his brothers in the book shelves. everytime i catch a glimpse of him he'd be gone again. finally a kind hearted gentleman helped me corner him. i managed to haul him out to the car , he was asleep before i could fasten his seatbelt . what an imp.
we've been sleeping together. his parents believe in the "attatchment" theory of parenting. he has never slept alone. at one point the large king size bed had 5 people in it plus a dog and cat. the two older boys have moved into their own room and the dog sleeps on the chair.
so it's me and the baby in the big bed. and he likes to cuddle. he also likes to feel a boob ,(no doubt left over from his nursing days) it's a little disarming to wake up being groped by a persistant 3 year old!
the two older boys are very self sufficient. they go to bed on their own. they have a story time and say a beautiful prayer their mother taught them. it goes like this:

Angel Blessing

Angels bless, and
angels keep

angels guard me
while i sleep

Bless my heart
and bless my home

Bless my spirit
as i roam

Guide and guard me
through the night

And wake me
with the morning light

Amen

isn't that so lovely? the middle child whispered it to me last night. i filled up. it was said with such quiet ernestness
their mother has prepared them well for this time away from her. she has taught them that their parents are watching over them always even when they are not here in the flesh.
i hope i can honour their trust..

2007-02-11T08:56:00.000-05:00

my heart sings "Obama"!

2007-02-04T09:11:00.000-05:00

sunday, feb. 4th, 2007

this is a photo of my front door this morning. when i went to let the dog out, there was two feet of snow. poor "lucky" , he didn't know where to go. lucky, for him the way the wind blew it provided a tunnel under the drifts of snow , so he managed to pee . then we had to blaze a path to the bird feeder. the gluttenous pigeons were waiting for breakfast. it is an aerodynamic mystery to me how they manage to fly in 100 km winds.
the bay is covered in ice. all is white except for a charcoal pathway ,where the pulp and paper carrier cut through the ice.

it has been stormy all of january and it looks like february will be much of the same. well , not for me. i am flying south exactly two weeks from today. first, to little rock ,arkansas, to look after my beautiful grandsons , while their parents are galavanting in europe.

then , i will go to florida for two weeks. playtime with my wonderful sister in law, and sister and brother in law. they know how to enjoy life and are generous enough to let me tag along.
then a stop in toronto to help my oldest sister celebrate her birthday. she definetely does not act (or look) her age.
then home, the 25th of march. by then the christmas wreath will come down, and hopefully the snow will be a distant memory. i'll be watching for the tulips and crocuses ( croci?) that i planted in that lovely warm day in september.
this afternoon we are going skiing. my daughter , her family and in-laws. i'm hoping the sun will be out by then.this will be my wee grandaugther 's first day out skiing. her older brother is very accomplished at cross country skiing, downhill skiing and snow boarding.
my skiing skills have not progressed in the twenty or so years i've been skiing. i just don't fall down as much . i shuffle around counting to myself. adn enyoying the winter wonderland around me. i stiffen up when i go down hill. telling myself to bend my knees. instead i lock them into rigidity.and go whizzing down the hill, wanting to yell "wheeeeeeee" all the way down.

2007-01-23T09:14:00.000-05:00

tuesday, jan 23,2007

i am not having a good day.
i think it may have to do with lack of sugar. i'm a sugar aholic. i know there is such a thing and i am she. since giving up smoking many, many years ago, i have developed an unhealthy sweet tooth. i have gained and lost a copious amount of weight.
i have belonged to weight watchers off and on as long as i can remember.i wish they had issued shares. i would be rich from the dividends.
i have been on a 'binge' for just over a month. i fell off the wagon when the christmas eating season began. for me that was dec 15th. one friend invited me for lunch and another for supper on the same day. a prudent person would have declined one of the invitations.
not me! i live alone and don't particularly like to cook for myself. plus i view eating out as time out from an otherwise controlled eating pattern.
that was the beginning of the end. i ate lots of chocolates,a whole fruitcake by myself, and anything else that came handy to my mouth.
i (gratefully) was invited to many christmas parties and didn't skimp on anything , especially if it contained sugar.
as a result , i felt terribly out of shape. my back acted up and i developed a chronic headache.so yesterday i decided, one day at a time, i would try to get off sugar. i managed to do so yesterday, even though i spent the day baking (for a sick friend) and went to my daughters for supper with the left over belgian (dark)chocolate scallop shells filled with pistachio pudding and a pan of lemon squares. and i resisted even a teeny taste of the vanilla ice cream i scooped up for my grand son , or the jelly beans my granddaughter recieved for peeing in her potty( even though we forgot to put the pot in under the seat).
i was stoic. i had a bowl of cereal sweetened with 'splenda' for my snack while i watched the amazing film"dogville".
this morning , it's hitting home. i'm edgey and angry. i had a fight (onesided) with aliant my high speed internet server, who has not been serving me very well. i decided i would not let it ruin my day of doing nothing , so i took the dog on a very long walk. on route, we passed quite a few dogs out in the freezing cold on very short leashes and no water in sight. what is wrong with people who would put a dog out on a day like today. the temperature is well below zero? i don't get it ! you have children, you bundle them up on a cold day and keep an eye on them. yet these same people will put the dog(or cat) out in an arctic climate and drive off to work for the day. it makes me so mad!
so this is it the sober sugar-holic, hung over, mad , and hurting everywhere. in the cupboard i have a box of "nature valley" sweet and salty almond coated yogurt bars singing their siren song: "eat me, eat me"
i will not look their way..........

2007-01-10T15:51:00.000-05:00

the birthday boy!

2007-01-10T15:50:00.000-05:00

this is a photo of my daughter and her first husband "kaila"

2007-01-06T17:53:00.000-05:00

post christmas
(flu season)
i am waiting to get the flu. i knew i would regret not getting the flu shot. i blame it on my doctor as i did ask for it. and she never called when the serum came in . then it was gone.
the truth is : i am afraid to get the flu shot. a lot of people i know (well, a few) got very ill after getting the flu shot.
so my remedy is to take tincture of echinechea and 2 extra strength tylenol.so far it is working. it usually does for a few days. then the germs sneak up on me and whack me down. then it's ten times worse and twice as long. i should just surrender at the first symptom.
this is old christmas day. in newfoundland we observe the 12 days of christmas. this is the twelfth. it is also my grandson's 6 th birthday. he is so grown up. we had a lovely conversation on the phone. i sent he and his older brother a wonderful chess set. it's medieval porcelain figurines. they like to play chess, and read and imagine. their's is a household that fosters creativity. both of their parents are artists. how lucky for them . would that all children had parents with wonderful imaginations.
their house is full of knights, magic, pirates , great deeds and bold expeditions. and nanny is coming to babysit for two weeks. we will have lots of fun. i am mentally preparing. every morning i imagine what it will be like , how we will spend our day. what new things nanny will try to intice them to eat. how the eldest will eagerly point out "the way mom does things" i know he will help care for his little brothers if they get sad or miss mommy and daddy.
we will tell lots of stories especially about their mother's growing up . about the time she ran away from home and ended up on the landwash in fogo island. and the time she took off early one morning just after we had arrived on the island of tobago and was brought home by a kind islander called "teacher" who warned us it was not safe for a little girl to be wandering by herself in the village.
and the time she poisoned herself one night when she made a special concoction from all the ingredients she found in the cupboard, such as cocoa, baking powder, dry mustard and vanilla...... it was not pretty what she threw up.

and another time, on fogo island , when she decided to make her own breakfast. she got out the cereal and poured detergent powder on top of it and added water............
and there was mother's day when she decided to make her dad and i breakfast in bed. she wasn't allowed to use the stove , so she made tea out of hot water from the tap. the cereal and toast were very soggy and cold. but she did have a lovely flower in a vase on the tray. she stayed and watched us eat every bite.........
and another time when she was very small and we left her with a baby sitter and when we arrived home she had drawn a lovely mural all around the living room wall. it was just her height and very intricate. she was most proud of that accomplishment.
her first boyfriend's name was jesse( oh dear i may have forgotten) he had a sister named "snort". she was so in love with him. i believe i still may have a bracelet he gave her.
and the time she quit school after the first week of school . she decided it wasn't nearly as fun as had been promised on her prekindergarten visit. she was quite right. her dad refused to take her to school when she was protesting so dramatically . finally i had to take a rather strongarmed tactic. i basically told her in canada education was compulsory and if she refused to go, momma would go to jail. she went.
and then there was the time she punched me in the stomach............
and the time she lost her snake in the apartment.........
and the time she married kaila our dog. she really liked being a bride, and a princess, and a wizard and an inventor and an archeologist and a dinosaur scientist . i forget what they are called, she knew at three and could also pronounce a dozen dinosaur names.
i don't have a repetoire of their dad's stories. i know there must be many and just as interesting. perhaps he can write some for me to tell while he is away in ireland..........
and of course there are my stories, and my mother's stories and i think i remember some of her mother's stories and of course the danes who came all the way from the old country of hans christian anderson......mmmm........... perhaps we are related.
and not to foget the stories of their poppy. he was a wonderful story teller and even wrote the stories into books..............
we will have a busy time. i wonder if they will be gone 100 nights?

2007-01-01T20:21:00.000-05:00

the birthday girl. she is wearing the dress her mother wore on her second birthday. and her new red shoes. she loves shoes.she looks just like her mother at that age. and they both walk on the tips of their toes.

2007-01-01T20:15:00.000-05:00

new bikes

2007-01-01T20:14:00.000-05:00

motor cycle momma........

2007-01-01T20:13:00.000-05:00

my daughter trimming the tree . can you see the two portraits of her?

2007-01-01T20:11:00.000-05:00

Oh Christmas tree!
it is presently sitting in a snow bank.
it was a damn nova scotia tree that had an insatiable
thirst!
the needles were falling off so fast i couldn't keep up
with it, so out it went .
next year i'm going artificial.

2006-12-31T13:36:00.000-05:00

december 31, 2006
it's new year's eve ! i love this day. i take down my kitchen calander and review all the notations i made,then i write in my diary, the highlights of the year.
this has been a year of loss. i've lost some good friends , not much older than me. and many of my friends have lost their parents. a brother in law. a friends lost their beloved pets, "flip" , "jimmy" amd "luke". losing a pet can be such a big loss. we live with our pets and they are such a part of our everyday life. we miss them when they are no longer there to greet us with such enthusiasm.
i have felt such helplessness for the people of iraq and lebanon. i some times feel so enraged at the irresponsibility of the politicians who have wrought such terrible suffering. if the world were a fair place, those who make war would be in the front line of fire. perhaps then they would think soberly about starting a war.
my new year's resolution last year was "loving kindness" especially towards myself. it was such a good one that i'm thinking of extending it for a year. there wasn't a day that i didn't reflect on ways to demonstate loving kindness.
i traveled a bit. a trip to florida and little rock and chicago in february. i had a wonderful time , but came home exhausted and was sick for all of march.
in june my sister and i went to bar harbor for her birthday. ( i daren't tell her age). the weather wasn't great , but we had fun. the highlight of the trip was a boat ride to the cranberry islands. i love the coast of maine and could easily live there. even though there is nowhere as beautiful as newfoundland. so rugged and wild. although the brits have found us.............
i spent many wonderful days at mackerel point, my summer home . we found a new swimming hole and had some wonderful picnics there.
my grandchildren bring me the most happiness. i can't believe how fortunate i am to have 6 wonderful grandchildren. two started kindergarten this year. no problems adjusting. one of them told me this morning he couldn't wait to go back to school. i volunteer in his class. i used to teach school and being in the classroon is so wonderful. i'm plotting a mutiny and over throw the regular teacher and take over the class. the problem is it's a french immersion class. my french is very very limited. of course they are so gullible, i could just make up words, they wouldn't know the difference.
two weddings this summer were great fun. one at a cottage in july. and the other in st john's in september. it was great to reconnect with that side of the family again.
and i gardened. i was so proud of my garden . i built a new one from scratch. it was so beautiful. my old garden outgrew the plot so i had to move things around. my roses did so well , except for a new rugosa"persion yellow" i bought it from a reputable nursery. it was infested with "black spot". i tried everything to get rid of it. i'm leaving it until spring and will try again to eradicate the infestation.
my plans for this year are another trip to little rock and to florida. and i'm thinking of going on a mindfulness retreat near boston in august. i will stop in new brunswick and maine on my way.
my niece is planning on a family reunion in august, so i will tie that in to the trip.
i'm looking forward to 2007. hope i make as many wonderful memories as i have had this year.
happy new year!

2006-12-09T06:24:00.000-05:00

here are my beautiful grandsons.the eldest i call
"the professor" he is in love with learning. he also
loves to teach. he has a kind and generous heart. he
looks after his younger brothers.
the middle child is mystical. he is in awe of nature.
he can spend hours watching a tiny insect.he is self-
possessed. his body is music.he doesn't walk, he dances.
the baby is full of glee and mischief. he knows his
place in the universe , dead center! he is the golden boy
and if the football scouts are smart ,they'd sign him
up as a quarter back.

2006-12-08T06:50:00.000-05:00

this is my front door. come in . i'm almost ready for christmas. you can help me trim the tree. i'll put the kettle on and we'll sample the fruit cake.
the fire will be lit, the cat and the dog will be stretched out before it.
we will listen to lloyd bartlett's new christmas cd.
he plays classical guitar.i will tell you a story of each precious ornament. the oldest one a clear amber glass ball is from the tree of childhood,the red faux metallic bell was from my husband's childhood tree.
the one eyed snowman with the lopsided smile was my daughter's first homemade ornament.
the santa's workshop is from the children's aunt. she started a tradition of giving them each an ornament as a christmas gift each year.
the chreche is the last gift my mother gave to me before she died at 93.
each and every ornament has a special memory.
that's what makes christmas so wonderful.

2006-11-29T12:17:00.000-05:00

my beautiful grandson, whose hair is the colour of fall...........

2006-11-29T12:12:00.000-05:00

this is me in the garden, not mine. i am digging up a wild white rose to bring home from my friend's cottage.
i tried to put it on my profile, but haven't had any success!

2006-11-28T17:55:00.000-05:00

a hike in the woods to a wonderful
swimming hole.........

2006-11-28T17:54:00.000-05:00

my summer breakfast

2006-11-28T17:50:00.000-05:00

this is the fairy princess sans cowboy boots....

2006-11-28T17:43:00.000-05:00

this is a photo of my grandparents.
my mother is on the left.
grandfather was a farmer.
my grandmother was not happy.
she was a city girl.
my mother and her sister on the right
were very mean to their younger sister
in the front of the picture.
they scratched her face off..........

2006-11-28T17:35:00.000-05:00

this was a day in july at the beach. what a surprise when what should appear but twin moose. they were wading amongst the bathers. just out for a stroll.

2006-11-28T17:31:00.000-05:00

this is my granddaughter in her fairy
finery. note the cowboy boots........

2006-11-28T17:20:00.000-05:00

november 28,2006

wow! i finally did it! i put a picture on
my blog. this is the veiw from my study
every day i get to look out on the fabulous
bay of islands.
expect more!

2006-11-23T12:50:00.000-05:00

bluebird of paradise
november 23, 2006:

Can it get any better than this? The sun is splitting the rock, the sea is sparkling, it's my daughter's birthday and she is published in THE GLOBE AND MAIL !
I am bursting at the seams! I ran up and down the ailse in shopper's drug mart, telling everyone "my daughter has an article in the globe and mail". I bought up all the copies. I mailed one to her right away.
When I got home I phoned her and read it to her over the phone( as she lives in the deep south and it's almost impossible to get the paper there).it's a wonderful essay on Thanksgiving.
As i was reading it I burst into tears. It starts of kind of humorous and whimsical, then without warning it becomes profound. It's a wonderful piece about tradition, subtle cultural differences and mostly about family and love that transcends all differences.
And today is her birthday. How appropriate to have it published on her birthday.
When she was a little girl, maybe 3 or 4, I took her to the ballet. Dame Margot Fontane was doing her farewell tour. As a child I had dreamed of becoming a famous ballerina. It was a dream come true to see the greatest ballerina of modern times preforming her solo of the dying swan. It was such a moving event , I was wracked with sobs, loud snuffling sobs, so loud that people were turning around to see who it was.
I was totally overcome with joy. When the show was over I was determined that my daughter should remember this night all her life. I dragged her back stage and physically thurst her into the arms of Dame Margot...........
Perhaps that was a defining moment. I wonder if she remembers it?

2006-11-08T14:23:00.000-05:00

post mid-term election:

oh i am a happy camper today. bush, cheney, rumsfeld et al ; got a trouncing! hooray! hooray! the wicked witch is dead! i honestly had given up hope that the dark days of the bush administration would ever end. lame lame duck . it will be interesting to watch your demise.
i only wish bush will be tried for "crimes against humanity".
it has been a disheartening time in the world . so many innocent deaths, such untold suffering. for what? for democracy? for security? anyone who thinks, can see that bush talks out of both sides of his mouth. watching him at the white house press conference was painful. the man is such a liar. and the worse kind , he actually believes his lies.
a new day is coming i hope , when the cloud of fear and insecurity instilled more by this administration than by al quida, will abate and that rationality well prevail.
everyday i say the prayer of st francis " lord make me an istrument of thy peace........." i ask for guidance to contribute to peace in the world in what ever way possible.

i love reading blogs. there are such wonderful ones on the internet. one that i follow is "coastal time". it's a young woman ,who until recently lived on the coast of oregon. she recently move to hawaii. i get lots of interesting links from her blog. one that i found today was on an organization called "KIVA" which helps entrepreneurs form developing countries obtain loans to start a small business. something like the noble peace prize winner for this year has done . i forget his name i believe he is from turkey. what a wonderful idea. you can lend someone in uganda $25 to start a little shop, others will also contribute to the full amount. perhaps $500. once the business is established the borrower will repay the lenders. you get updated on their progress. once the money is repaid, you can lend it to someone else or get your money back.
i am going to do it. i think it's a wonderful way to help.something like the organizations like Heifer international or Vision canada, where you can actually buy someone in a poor country a cow or a goat or chickens etc. it can be a christmas gift in aloved one's name. i wonder how my grandchildren would feel if for christmas they gave a turkey or a pig to someone in africa. i bet they'd be thrilled. of course they would still want nanny to send them something else , but maybe not as expensive as usual............ it's a thought.
i know of a family who gave up giving each other gifts for christmas. instead they sent money to the charity of their choice. they would spend christmas at their cottage and have a lovely quiet time . like an old fashioned christmas, before commerce hijacked christmas .
i've always wanted to spend christmas at a cottage in the woods. no gifts, just some good food, wine,music and merriment. when my kids were small i wasn't really brave enough to do it. now i need to be near my grandchildren, because it is true ,christmas is for children (even the forgotten one in us).
one of the best christmases we had was one we spent in tobago. my husband was on sabbatical and was writing a play. we were living in a tiny one room apartment near the beach in the town of plymouth. it was our first winter without snow. i was a bit worried as we didn't have a lot of money. when i went in to the nearest big town, scarborough,to shop for gifts, i was surprised at how little there was to choose from . we each got one gift which cost $5.00 tt.my eldest daughter , who was 10 at the time got a labratory kit. it included test tubes and a microscope. she loved it and would take samples of water from the canal (open sewer)that ran behind the house and was so delighted to find pin worms and other nasty looking creatures.
my youngest daughter was given a small blue piano. she played that little piano constantly. like schroder of "charley brown" fame . she would diligently practice everyday. now when her two year old daughter comes for a visit, she runs for the blue piano and pounds out a tune.it's a little off key ,but she doesn't know that. she looks just like her mother playing the little blue piano.
our christmas tree was the branch of a tree we found on the beach. it had no leaves. we decorated it with tin foil from my husband's cigarette packs and other homemade decorations. later we were told that the bush was poisonous.
we had a wonderful christmas. we met a german family on the beach that morning and brought them home for breakfast. mr dumas (our landlord's caretaker) and his son superville arrived with curried goat meat.it was my introduction to goat meat and it was delicious.later that day we went visiting and were treated to a local dish call pastal. it was a kind of corn pasty wrapped in a banana leaf. everywhere we went we had to eat and drink. after the first few visits i could hardly walk , i was so stuffed. i went home with the children and my husband continued to celebrate. like newfoundland, in tobago christmas was 12 days long. during that time you were expected to pay a visit to everyone you knew. at each home you would be treated like royalty. the best food , liquor , which funnily enough was not rum as you might expect,but single malt scotch.
we felt right at home. that is how christmas is traditionally celebrated in newfoundland. in days gone by household would have unexpected visitors called "the mummers" . these were neighbours and friends who would be dressed up in men's old clothes and have their faces covered with panty hose or bits of sheer curtains. they walked in uninvited and spoke by sucking in their breath and saying loudly "any mummers 'loud in here ?" they would have a fiddle accordian and, or, guitar, and spoons. they would play jigs and reels, sing and dance. it was all very rowdy. the host was supposed to try to guess the identity of each of " the mummers". and supply them with drinks of homemade wine and homebrew. the mummers would go from house to house the whole 12 days of christmas. it was very merry.........

2006-10-13T11:27:00.000-04:00

CREATIVE iDEAS

The other day, i had a series of creative ideas. i jotted them down on my list pad so i wouldn't forget them when i started my writing career. here's the list:
3 room mates
rusty october
don't let life make you brittle
the season of death
marketable bleu
my velvet weed

next to a chiquita banana sticker is a mini list; skippy peanut butter, maxwell house coffee, tetly tea, bic pen.

now to tie them altogether.........

i can't fathom what the 'three room mates 'means. i have no recollection what so ever as to why i wrote that down. it could have been an alien presence.

"rusty october" is just a poetic phrase that describes the hills across the bay as i look out my window. the reds of the maples have turned and only the orange leaves of the birches remain. it's been a fabulous fall in the humber valley. it begins in one corner of a hill on the west side and gradually creeps over the hills and spills out across the bay and sneaks up the river valley, like a slow burning fire.
i dream that one day i'll follow the colours across the country. i haven't determined where they start, perhaps on the white mountains of new hampshire, across to maine, new brunswick, nova scotia, up the cabot trail , then across the gulf to the valley. what a wonderful trip. perhaps a honey moon trip , if i should ever remarry.
come to think about it, there is a website which tracks the colours in the vermont tourism site.

"don't let life make you brittle" has to do with" season of death". a good friend of mine died this week. i hadn't seen her for a while as she had gotten fairly reclusive, since her husband died 7 years ago. she was a remarkable woman. a gifted pianist, teacher and poet. someone who was always kind and caring. she was fragile and etheral, however she had a great wit and a wicked sense of humour. she was ever passionate about music, poetry. children and animals.
she had no children of her own and yet had hundreds of children in her friends children , her music students and her neices and nephews. lucky were we who knew her.
but she was brittle. she bordered on agrophobic,seldom going out and keeping her life very private. she was someone you would not drop in to see without an invitation. she had certain boundries which would not be crossed.
those closest to her did not know how sick she really was. and she refused to go for medical help. she hated the hospital. so her illness was well progressed, when she finally had to seek medical attention. it was too late. she died shortly after her admission to hospital.
upon hearing about her death, i was angry, angry and hurt, that i hadn't been told that she was in hospital, and that i didn't get to visit her or send her flowers or say goodbye.
it wasn't fair! i loved her. she was important to me. she was lonely. i could have done something.
after a day of weeping and bewailing my loss, my giref moved into acceptance. i realized that she had been lonely , that she never really got over the loss of her beloved husband. unlike some of us, she wasn't able to build a new life after his death. she was going home.
there have been a lot of deaths inmy life over this past few months. i tallied them at 8 in the past 4 months. some of them were parents of friends, others too young and unexpected. all have had an impact although this most recent one, has touched me deeply. it has made me feel vunerable. she was my age, lived alone and had a smallish life. it has made me realize i need to get my house in order. but more importantly, i need to slow down and savour each and every joy that comes into my life.

"marketable bleu" came to me when i was scooping out peanut butter from a "skippy" peanut butter jar. i noticed the blue of the cover and label was the same blue as the "teltley" tea package and the "maxwell house" coffee tin. when i went to reach for a pen i picked up a blue "bic" pen , which was the exact same blue. and then i looked at the bananas and lo and behold the "chiquita "sticker was the same blue. is there a connection? of course there is ! the marketers of these products know something about that blue that i don't . what is it called ? where did it come from? what ad agency first used it? what does it make us do, besides buy any product with that colour on it? any ideas? all i know is it is everywhere in my kitchen. is it in yours?
" my velvet weed". i bought some phlox early in the summer. i think i got them at zellers greenhouse , which is supplied by a local nursery.in any case, i transferred the phlox to a larger container and it flourished. one day i noticed a strange velvet leafed plant clinging to the edge of the container. it was lush and soft,with a grayish green rabbit ear shaped leaves. it looked exotic. i was more excited about this guest plant than i was with the phlox.
eventually i transplanted both to a new bed . as summer moved into fall the velvet eared plant got bigger and bigger. it had a rosette of leaves in the centre. i kept expecting a flower to emerge. it didn't happen.
i decided to check it out on the internet. i came across a web site called "heritage prennials" which offered the advice of an expert. so i posted my inquiry and immediately recieved a response from the expert, john vallue, he figured it was either a mullien or a verbascum. so i checked it out on google/ image and sure enough there it is. verbascum . the first year it just grows velvet leaves. the next year, it will grow a tall stalk with a flower something like the primrose flower. it could be yellow or purple. it is described as very invasive. oh dear! what have i fostered? i already have an invasive thistle like plant which is crowding out my wild irises. my curiousity has the better of me, so i will allow it to flourish and see what next year will bring.
so that 's all my creative ideas. i still dont' recall who the "three room mates " are. i had four room mates when i was single in montreal. we all got married one saturday after each other in 1966. that wasn't it , although that history would provide literary fodder for a lifetime.
hmmmmmm, three room mates???????????
perhaps it will come to me later.

2006-09-16T08:50:00.001-04:00

photos

to begin with i am computer illiterate, well almost. i sometimes amaze myself with my ability to stumble on things. since i have never taken a computer course , i do okay most times. but i am stumped at trying to figure out how to put photos on my blog.
i have gone to the help desk. i have tried to copy and paste.i have read and reread blogspot's" how to post your photo on your blog". none of it has been successful. this morning i wasted an hour trying. and i thought i had succeeded by pasting the 'url 'in the space provided in 'edit your profile' i was so excited , and then deflated to have a little yellow triangle with an exclamation mark in the center , tell me that the 'url 'contained some illegal content. what had i done!
god knows i may have the CIA at my doorstep in a few moments, perhaps a swat team from HOMELAND SECURITY.
i even went to the extreme of reducing the window of my blog and the window of my photos and tried to drag the photo across the great divide to my blog. there was a "poof" and my blog disappeared. all i was left with was my shrunken photo.
so as a result the lone reader of my blog won't be able to see a picture of my front door in winter. so i'll describe it to her. it's a cherry red, with a lovely christmas wreath dusted with snow. the door is in a corner of the house which faces the road. the house is white with dark brown trim. there is an over hang kind of porch. you get the drift. and it is true a picture is worth a thousand words. if i used a thousand words to describe my front entrance, you would never see it as it really is..........
so unless i figure out how to put the photo on my blog, you will just have to come and see it for yourself (in winter of course, on a very stormy day in january) i will have the kettle on ...........

2006-09-10T08:50:00.001-04:00

first day of school

my grandson started school this week. he was so proud, so brave, so hopeful , so grown up. he was fairly bursting with enthusiasm. i felt a little sad, seeing him set forth on that path. it's like giving him over to the outside world- outside his immediate family and neighbourhood.on my walk home after the photo shoot, i reflected on the next big occassion on this path would be 13 years from now when it would be his graduation. i know from experience how fast that time goes.
i want for him an experience far different from mine. my first day of school started like his full of hope and expectation. my mother accompanied me to school. there were about 40 students in my class.my memory is that i was standing by the teacher's desk, when i realized my mother was not beside me. i looked towards the door , only to see her leaving. i started to cry and miss senna whacked me across my knuckles with a wooded ruler. i had never been hit ! i went into shock. here i was ,a painfully shy six year old who had a great attachment to my mother, left alone with this monster ! it traumatized me and still does. not much wonder i've carried a lifetime fear of authority.
i was a very bright child. i loved reading, had a wonderous curiousity and an insatiable appetite for learning. what had i done to deserve such brutality?
this same teacher taught me again in grade 8. her brutish ways hadn't changed.
one lovely fall (or was it spring) day, my best friend and i played hookey. we spent the afternoon at my house trying on bathing suits. the next day the teacher being suspicous that we were both off at the same time , requested a note from our parents explaining our absence. my mother was kind enough to comply event though she was not condoning my action. miss senna was not happy with the note and strapped me in front of the entire class. i don't recall if she strapped my best friend.
what was it with this woman? i've never been able to figure it out. perhaps abuse has no logic. it's just sadistic.
i did have happier days in school . i loved my grade 4 teacher. miss coffey. unlike my first three teachers she was young and married. she got married the year she taught us, she invited the whole class to her wedding. it was beautiful as was she.
later on in high school we had her sister, who had been a nun. she didn't have the same kind of personality. although she was a wonderful teacher, she was more guarded ,probably out of necessity,as we had another young good looking female teacher miss fahey, who was given such a hard time by the young bucks, that she eventually left teaching period. too bad, as i think in high school you need young energetic teachers.
my youngest daughter is a high school teacher. i admire her so much. she is so enthusiastic and loves teaching. i taught school also. but you couldn't pay me enough to walk into a high school classroom.my memory of what happened to miss fahey would give me the horrors.
as a parent i felt a bit of a failure in not being able to protect my children from bad experiences . they had teachers who should not have been allowed around children , much less in charge of them for 6 hours a day.
i'm not sure i agree with mandatory education. i am sure our education system needs a complete overhauling. it needs to be dismantled and rebuilt .
it truly needs to be child centred. not just lip service to that notion.
firstly , in terms of physical environment, children need sunshine, fresh air, good food, flowers, grass , trees . so we need to start with tearing down our drab brick buildings with small windows that don't open. we need to build schools that are organic on sites that have beautiful views, that inspire. wooden buildings or other materials which make the structure seem as though it grew out of the place. harmony. beauty. awesome.
secondly, fun, music, play, laughter, colour, art. dance......... all the good joyous activites that make us human, happily human.
gardens, pets, bikes, skate boards, and anything that promotes physical activity.
programming: anything and everything is a subject for learning . listen to what children want to learn. LISTEN to children truly LISTEN. as adults we like to preach, lecture and teach. true learning is a sharing of what we are excited about. when a child comes to you excited about something, we need to STOP and LISTEN. i stress this as i really believe we don't hear what young people are saying or thinking. we need to be mindful of ' the other' and be present for them. this act tells them they are important and what they think matters and they have good ideas that will change the world for the better.
throw the notion of "discipline" out the wndow. the old fashion idea of discipline. i am learning in my sixtieth year that discipline is not a bad thing. it doesn't mean punishment, deprivation, abuse. that discipline has more to do with boundries, respect and focus. i over eat. my appetite knows no boundries. i have to teach it to recognize fullness and satisfaction. i need to respect my body and learn to say "no" to that second piece of cake. respect garners respect.
what did miss senna teach me in her abusive behavior to me? she taught me to fear authority, to keep my mouth shut, learning to be invisible is more important that showing off what you have learned. keep your head down and keep ducking.
teachers should be carefully screened and monitored. we do not want people caring for our children, who do not love them with a passion and utter devotion to guiding them to be happy, kind , industrious, honest, loving human beings. learning is a lifetime process.it is a journey. it doesn't just belong to schools. a great teacher will inspire and appetite and love of learning. a life long gift that never ends.
as my grandchildren embark on their journey away from we who love them, i pray that they never feel less loved than they are in their homes. and that those who have them in their care, remember they are precious and like flowers they need sunshine, water and fresh air.

2006-09-05T13:51:00.000-04:00

labour day

actually its the day after labour day. but i formulated this topic yesterday and continued to labour today.
it's pickling time! yesterday i picked squashberries out in back of my garden. my house is built on a steep incline, so i had to literally hang from the branches to stable myself enough to pick. i found the tree last year and was delighted. squash berry jelly is a newfoundland delicacy. i hadn't had it for years.
my young neighbour "matthew", who tells me he is "free" and his grandmother were my audience. we chatted while i picked. matthew kept an eye on the dogs and warned me when the bee was going to bite me.
his nanny spotted and apple tree laden with apples further down the hill. she scampered down the hill to see if she could get some. she came back empty handed but vowed she'd get her husband to take the ladder down and pick some after he finished watching "the story".
an hour later matthew and his nanny dropped by with a bag of apples. so i set to work. apple jelly, squash berry jelly, partridgeberry jam and zucchini mustard pickles. it was a wonderful day. it reminded me of my mother's kitchen . coming home from school on a bright fall day. opening the door and almost being blown away by the pungent aroma of pickle spice, hot vinigar and molten parrafin wax. my mom was not a neat person. she loved to be outdoors in her garden. but she also loved to make pickles. chow-chow, bread and butter pickles, pickled beets, lady astor pickles and her favourite dill pickles. all made with the fruits of her garden. the whole kitchen would have transformed into a pickle factory and labratory. she had a note book in which she would register each bottle by date and type and anything noteworthy about her technique. the kitchen table was covered with cucumbers, beets, green tomatoes, scraps of recipes. pots on the stove boiling over, some with empty jars and lids , the wax melting in a double boiler, vinigar andsugar with cloves , peppercorns, bayleaves,garlic and dill simmering away. the floor was a skating rink of spilled wax.
she would stuff the vegetables in the jar, not nice clean mason jars, but the recycled mayonaise, jam jars , mustard jars and anything that had a cover. the covers were not the original covers. i made a game out of trying to match the lids with the jars, desparately seeking order in my chaotic childhood. after the veggies were ready she would pour the hot spicy, sugary vinigar over the top. i loved to see it trail down through the chunks of cucumbers, beets or tomatoes. once the liquid had settled , she would pour the hot wax over the top of all with peaks of picles peeping out she would add a little melted parrafin in the lid. then cover was installed, the wax dripping down over the sides in droplets , solidifying on the way . she would mark the code on the cover and in the pickle registery and the hot bottles would be placed on the cellar steps. ready to be stored on a dusty shelf in the spooky , musty , mysterious earthen floored basement.
one by one they would be retrieved throughout the winter.we'd have them with supper and sometimes my stepfather would give them away to his buddies. he was always proud of my mom's achievements. the jars would be brought out of the basement washed off before they were handed over.
i was wishing i had my mom's recipes yesterday. alas i wasn't that interested when i was young, later when i moved away and returned home for a visit, she would insist that i take jars of pickles with me, when i left. i didn't have the heart to refuse her even though it was a bother packing them up and carrying them in my suitcase. i was somewhat ashamed of their appearance.
i don't remember when i started to appreciate her effort, but thankfully i did long before she no longer made pickles. perhaps it was when my children were gone to school and i had the time to put down a batch of pickles or jams and jellies. i loved having them come home to those wonderful homey smells. i still do.
today i did the rest of the zucchini mustard pickles, using my very own home grown zucchini. i didn't use parrafin wax, but rather went to the walmart and bought brand new mason jars. it felt pretty good carrying on that tradition. happy labour day!

2006-08-20T19:43:00.000-04:00

big falls
i went camping this weekend. i crashed my daughter's family camping trip. i am so glad i did. they went to 'big falls'. it's on the 'upper humber river', which is one of the few pristine salmon rivers left in north america.
my son in law and my 5 year old grandson love to fish. my daughter and 21 month old grand-daughter don't. i went up to keep them company.
we did go look at the falls. the water is very high after all the rain we've had. the salmon are still trying to jump over the falls. the best time to view the falls is in july, when the female salmon go up the river to spawn. they come from the ocean and traverse, rapids,rocks , fishermen and other dangers for about a 100 km swim to lay their eggs. then it's the males turn. some of them are quite old and tired. but they are dogged in their determination to do the job they are meant to.
it's phenomenal really, akin to the march of the penguins. except the penquins didn't have a fisherman at every eddy and shoal trying their hardest to land a big one.
while my son in law was napping with the baby, my daughter , grandson and i waded up one of the brooks which feeds into the humber. we were told there is a water fall and a pool to swim in . well indeed there was! it was so beautiful. a long low waterfall, which was a miniture copy of big falls. the pool was beautiful and calm,not too deep . we frollicked there all afternoon. we climbed up behind the water falls and followed the brook for a ways. it is like the garden of eden.
if i knew how to put pictures on my blog i would show you.
the last time i was in big falls was 40 years ago. i think it might have been the summer i was married.
my husband was an avid fisherman. he took me there to watch the salmon jumping.it is was amazing then and still is 40 years later.
my grandson was wearing his fishing vest. he loves to hear stories of his poppy's fishing days. an other grandson in little rock has his poppy's fly rod. he too is becoming a wonderful fisherman. my husband would be so proud of all hsi grandchildren. i'm sorry he didn't get to see them grow. as much as we can we try to keep his memory alive.
it's good that he was a writer. his words will be around for a very long time.

it will be the anniversary of his death on august 26th. it will have been 5 years. it doesn't seem possible that a person who had such a big life can just vanish.
we pretend he has been reincarnated as a brown butterfly. today he got into the camper and played with the baby. she is his only grandaughter. i know he would take as much delight in her as he did his own two beautiful daughters, who spread his ashes at his favourite fishing spot on the beautiful humber river that balmy august afternoon five long years ago.

2006-08-08T10:23:00.000-04:00

august 8th, 2006

they are back ! the family who went back to lebanon to attend a family wedding and got trapped there. the morning they were to leave for damascus, the only bridge linking the highway was bombed. they managed to find another route and escaped. i am so relieved. my feelings are that of a by stander . they must be so relieved to be enroute home. and yet they leave family behind.
i feel so helpless. what has this world become? where has civility gone? why is my country condoning the bombing of innocent children? what is this "measured response" that prime minister harper speaks of? why are we not screaming for an immediate cease fire?
i'm trying to make sense of this senseless bombing of airports, bridges, schools, hospitals. how can a civilized nation condone such atrocities?
it is a dark time. where is the light? don't they understand that violence begets violence . and that generations to come will want retribution for these injuries.
how did we make such a mess of things.

2006-07-29T13:37:00.000-04:00

july 29th 2006

today it's raining. a meloncohly kind of day. i took the dog for a nice walk on a trail over looking the bay. we go there often. it has a beautiful panoramic view of the city and the bay of islands. i feel so fortunate to be living here.
all summer long i've been having a wonderful relationship with a small yellow bird. i think he's a yellow finch. the first time i saw him i thought he was an escaped canary. he had a lovely song and seemed to want to engage me in conversation. i often tweet at the birds and they often tweet right back. i think they think i'm an aberration. in any case this little fellow comes out and darts around twirping as my dog lucky and i walk. he sometimes ventures so close that i can almost touch him. he hasn't failed to come out when i announce my presence.
the strange thing is that i've seen a yellow finch outside my house which, as the crow flies is about a mile away from the trail. i know it most probably is not the same bird. i like to think he's followed me home.
there is also one at my cabin across the bay. now i do think it would be too farfetched to think he actually flies across the bay. it is about 20 kms as the crow flies.
he does the same thing though , greets me and tries to catch my attention.
it's been a wonderful summer. i have seen more dragonflies than i have in ages. i like to think my mom is a dragon fly. it suits her and she loved them. she could let them pitch on her. she had a real gift for nature. she loved all living creatures. bees, birds, flowers,insects, wild animals. she had an intimate relationship with the natural world.
i am heart sick at hearing news from the middle east. is there no voice of reason left in the world? what have we become? people can be detained without recourse to the law for years and years. a country founded on principles of justice, fairness, and freedom can condone torture. the invasion and occupation of a sovereign nation justified by lies and deception. the control of the freedom of the press. the bombing of civilians in lebanon. what is happening in palestine. afghanistan. for what ? don't tell me "freedom" or "democracy" those words have lost their currency with me.
who are we in the west to dictate our political/cultural/religous/social mores on anyone. look around we haven't been so successful ourselves.........
we have a family here who operate my favourite pizza take out. they went to lebabnon to attend a family wedding. they are now stranded there with no way to get home.the canadian evacuation is ended. they are in a region too dangerous to make their way to beruit. it brings the news stories close to home. these are innocents. a young husband ,wife and two small boys.how will they survive?
how did this happen? how can i help?

2006-07-23T22:47:00.000-04:00

my old blog spot was http://bluebirdofparadise.blogspot.com
i don't know how to link it with my new blog which is http://bluebird-of
good luck in finding me

2006-07-23T20:47:00.000-04:00

sunday, july 23, 2006

wow i'm back .
it's awful growing old. i couldn't remember my id or my password and you can't retrieve one without knowing the other.
so yesterday i started a new blog. i wrote a fabulous piece on roses . it took about 3 hours. i was so pleased with it . however my typing is not great, so i had a few spelling errors to correct. so i tried to edit it, but everytime i would replace a letter, i would lose the next one. it meant i had to retype the whole blog. and wouldn't you know, somehow i lost the whole piece. was i ever mad! i tried everything to retrieve it . i was convinced it was somewhere in my computer, if i could only find it.
i didn't and i lost the blog. i couldn' remember my id or my password.
then today i tried again on my original blog and lo i found the id and the password. now i have them written down. (heres hoping i can remember where i wrote it)

so here's what i can remember of my brilliant piece on roses:

i have fallen in love with roses specifically rugosa roses. . every morning upon wakening i lie in bed and recite the names of my roses."morden blush", "new dawn", "persian yellow", "purple pavement", "iceberg" "sweet briar" "alba maxima" ,"maria bugnet", "golden showers" and a no name that i call " my wild rose".
i am reading lois hole's book " rose favorites " as one of my spiritual books. i highlight the roses i want to acquire next year and the year after and the year after that, till my garden is full of roses..........
when i meditate i visualize a rose rather than a lotus flower. my mantra is " i am a rose".
i have dedicated my roses to my grandchildren, my children and some friends. my circle of roses grows.
my largest and oldest rose "sweet briar " is for my eldest daughter. it is about ten feet tall and has delicate pink tudor roses with prickely thorns that snag me as i putter around in the garden. it has a sweet scent and requires very little care . it is very independant and hardy.
"persian yellow" is my newest rose and it is dedicated to my youngest daughter. when she was little she named herself "lemony". it was a combination of her name "emily " and her lemon coloured hair. this is perhaps the only yellow rugosa. it has yet to bloom. according to the nusery owner it is a carefree rose who will surive the harshest winter.it is also known as "the yellow rose of texas".
my eldest grandson, has the "purple pavement " it is a short hardy rugosa. it has beautiful deep rose coloured blooms and is always in flower. it can withstand the cold harsh sea breezes that blow in across the bay.
"new dawn" is for alden . it is a fabulous pink climber.i first saw it at my daughter's neighbour's house in little rock . it has large double soft pink
flowers that climb over arbors and fences. my son in law bought me one for mother's day and planted it in the front yard. i thought it would only grow in the south and was delighted to see it in vesey's catalouge. so now i have one winding it's way up my clothesline pole. it hasn't bloomed yet but looks very healthy. it's a robust climber just like my robust grandson.
"my wild rose " is for my ozark mountain boy. it's a rambler and grows so fast. i picked it up at a yard sale two years ago.it was in a small pot and was maybe 6 inches high. it is now about 6 feet tall and has the most gorgeous fuschia flowers, it blooms continually and has a very thorny stalk.
"golden showers" is for my youngest grandson. he has long golden ringlets the colour of this rose. and he has just as golden and sunny a disposition.
my red haired grandson has a rose called "iceberg" it is an icy almost a translucent green rose. it isn't a rugosa but more of an english rose. it's well defined , beautiful and very dramatic.
"morden blush" is a rose i fell madly in love with. i saw it at a nusery when my daughter was expecting. having had 5 grandsons i was hoping and praying for a girl this time, afraid to jinx the chance, i avoided buying anything pink. but i had to have this rose. so i bought it thinking if the baby was a girl it would be her's , if not it would serve as a memorial to the grandaughter i never had. well much to my surprise and delight it was a girl. and this is her rose "morden blush" it's blooms are the most beautiful pink blush.
my friend turned seventy this week. to mark the occassion i bought him a white rugosa rose called "marie bugnet". this rose was developed in a place called "legal , alberta". it is a very hardy rose which will withstand the harsh winter sea winds and not require a great deal of care. my friend is a wonderful poet, who just survived colon cancer. we planted it below his window. as he writes his beautiful poems he can look out on "marie bugnet' and enjoy her beauty and be inspired to write beautiful love poems.
we had a wonderful old country rose at our cottage on the river. it was a fragrant white rambler. i found it's name in lois hole's book. it's called "alba maxima". it's an old english country rose, that's often found growing in the country by abandoned houses. it just goes on growing as a memorial to those who once dwelled there.i used to pick bouquets and put them in the bedroom at our cottage. it filled the room with a heavy intoxicating perfume.
my sister and i went to bar harbor maine a few years ago. we walked along a seaside path lined withhedges of beautiful pink roses bushes. i dug up a root with my nail file. i couldn't believe roses could grow in such an exposed environment. i wanted to plant them at my new cottage on the bay. i brought it home and planted it in a container. it survived several winters in the basement, finally i gave it to a friend for her new garden ( this was before i started to garden). it didn't make it through the winter. i always regretted not keeping it and vowed if i ever went back to bar harbor, i would dig up another piece of that rose. well this june i did just that. this time i dug it up with my bare hands. i got a good long piece of the root. carried it all the way back to newfoundland. i planted it in my new garden, but you know i think it's died. i'm hoping it may send up a new shoot , but it doesn't look hopeful. i think it might be a "dart's dash" or a "hansa" . i might make that my next rose purchase and dedicate it to my sister.
my two son in laws will have to have roses named for them . one i think will be a crimson rose, the other a salmon . and i want an apricot rose perhaps "folklore". and i have to have the most famous"peace" rose and "abraham darby", the miniture rose "cupcake" and the giant "cabbage rose" ,which dates back to the 1600's. oh the possibilities are endless..............
my litany of roses will grow year by year. in the meantime
"a rose to you ....."